#wish i had the patience for this level of detail again

[d-lanx]

Ok here's a little thing i thought would fun for any artists to show off their progress at learning art (plus I'm nosey🤭).

Show off the oldest drawings you did (or the oldest that you can still find), the first things you were confident enough to upload online, and your most recent drawings and talk about them and show off how much you've progressed :)

Probably gonna end up missing some people, but I'm tagging a bunch of cool artists I follow/am mutuals with and am nosey to see how they started out, but no pressure :)

@fantasticalleigh, @thlayli-ra, @heelhausen, @stupidmarkzone, @2ndcitynightmare, @punk-o-ween, @normallypassingby, @tvheit, @seasonal-depression-of-punk

And if you wanna have a look at my old stuff, I've got it below =)

Oldest Drawings I Can Find

Of course, the first is an OC. Never did anything with her tho. Notice the lack of forehead and elbows, the arms that barely reach the hips, how indishtinguishable each part of the body is from one another. They're a perfectly smooth pole. and of course those wings. This is the first thing in my first proper sketchbook when I decided I was gonna start taking art more seriously. This would have been when i started secondary in 2014 at 11 years old. And I can't find anything from before that, since I never kept anything in a proper book/folder.

Second image is another of the first drawings in the book. It was my first closeup of a face, and also my first time drawing anime. I know I'm not the only artist who was desperate to learn to draw an anime-style as a kid. I remember doing this while on holiday, trying to follow an online tutorial, taking about 4 hours to get the outcome I did, and getting so frustrated that I couldn't get it to look right, that I was almost brought to tears. I'm pretty sure this was one of those "I'm never drawing again! >:(" moments, lol. Looking back, it was a pretty good first attempt. But I guess I was always a bit of a perfectionist, lol. Funnily enough, while I carried the anime eyes forward in my art style for years, to this day, I still can't draw a proper full anime style character.

First Drawings I Uploaded Online

I put these on insta to show my mates from school. The first picture was an attempt at a close up face with the new brush markers i'd got for christmas. This was 2017 just before i turned 14. Pretty sure I copied the design from an art tutorial book, that was supposed to be hyper-realistic (another christmas present). But I just couldn't bring that to life so just did what I could. Also, first time I used a signature. My signature's very different nowadays cos it's based on my tumblr username and not me actual name. But yeah. I was tryna get more professional I guess.

Second pic is the first full body piece I uploaded a few days later. Again, used the drawing books trying to learn how to draw flowy clothes. Think it was a book about drawing anime clothes that I used for this (another christmas present). By this point, each body part could move seperately and had joints. Also note the anime eyes, cos my simpler-but-still-anime-inspired eyes were something I stuck with a long ass time. This was the style I drew most often, and could usually do without having references (but obviously for this drawing specifically, I had the reference for the clothes). Had a lot of trouble with perspective, so all my characters faced forward, and later they would always face a 3/4 angle. And they could never lean or reach forwards cos I just couldn't get that to look right.

Most Recent Pieces

The most most recent is on the left, being my most recent closeup of a face. Still has a cartoonish edge with the lineart but much more realistic. And I'm fucking with this semi-realistic look atm. Tbh I dunno if i'd have the patience for the tiny details in hyperrealism. Also, fun story, in 2021 when I was doing my a-levels, I did an art piece that we were free to do in any style we wanted, and my teacher saw mine and was like “I wish you’d done it as realism instead of a cartoon style :(“ but it was actually my best attempt at realism and she hadn’t even realised. So I dunno, maybe I’m not cut out for realism 😂😂 I like my style rn tho so who cares

Then I got my most recent drawing of a (almost) full body. I got joints and decent hands and proportions and more body details.

Also this last year is the first time I've really got into digital. I always used to just do pen and paper. I even got a cheap drawing tablet, but couldn't get used to drawing on one surface and the image being up on a seperate screen. So I could never get the lines right. I did draw on my old ipad for a while which was easier, but the stylus was one of those with the thick rubber ball on the end, rather than a fine nib. Again, I had trouble cos I couldn't tell where it would register the contact with the screen and draw the line, which made it hard to do details. I got a new ipad a little while back that supports apple pencil, so I got one for it. And it's so much easier now that I've got a fine nib and can see where I'm drawing. I'm in love with drawing digital atm.

But yeah. That's how i've drawn over the years. Mental to see how much my style has changed and improved :) makes me feel better when I get frustrated with a drawnig and think I'm shit. Cos I know I'm getting better with each new drawing, even if it's only baby steps.

First: Now:

[within-your-eyes-if]

April 1st Progress Update

Hello everyone!

First, this update isn't an April's Fools joke, as much as I wish it were. Secondly, maintaining a level of transparency is important to me. It lets you all understand where I'm at and what to expect. With that, I apologize there was no March update.

In my last update, I hinted at some hardships in my life, and things were looking better. Unfortunately, sometimes life tends to kick you down when you're trying to get back up, and that's what happened not long after that update. This time, however, it took a heavy toll. I really tried, but I could not get back up on my own this time.

I had to step away for the most part and work on healing. I'm genuinely starting to feel better now, with each day being a little clearer and brighter than the last. Writing is slowly becoming easier again, which is a huge relief. It's strange how little time has passed, yet it feels years away.

As I believe I've stated before, I have no intentions of abandoning my story; this still rings true. There's just a regret I lost the momentum I gained.

Progress hasn't been at a complete standstill, and I'm still slowly working on drafts. It's hard to explain without delving into personal details — know I'm trying my hardest. I'm unsure what the word count is at the time of writing this, as I'm still going over and refining it. However, I have finished a few more scenes and I'm nearing the finish line.

Lastly, I'm sorry I disabled the asks. There are quite a few I need to catch up on, but answering was, and has always been, hard for me. I'll probably put together a FAQ post in the next few days (as well as finish a certain post I've been neglecting). Anyway, I hope to enable asks again in the near future.

Thank you all once again for your incredible patience. I'm sorry if this update isn't what you hoped for. Regardless, I hope Part Two is well worth the wait!

[tinydefector]

Hooray!!! Omg i’m so happy lol. I’m definitely going to be smiling for the rest of my day. I finally had time to think about it and how about a platonic familial scenario with mtmte magnus and the ambassador on break and casually chatting, fluff please. let me know if you need more details, and take your time <3

(i’ve been having data problems so hopefully this ask sends through 😅)

Out of the bag - human effects

I had so much fun writing this Buddee and I hope you like it!.

Word count 1.6k

Ultra Magnus x human reader

Fic Masterlist

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The ambassador sat quietly working through files while on the desk, fingers pinching their temple as they re-read the text. A hot drink beside them as they worked. Ultra Magnus sat at the desk as he too worked. It would have been rather funny to look at, A large alien robot sitting at his desk working while his co-worker who was much smaller sat on the same desk on their own seat with a desk. They looked almost like they were a toy figure. 

They take a sip of their drink and roll their shoulders slightly. "Please tell me I don't have to fix another 15 files of Rodimus getting side tracked again and typing out random words like Chinchilla?" They mumble almost like a pray.

Ultra Magnus cycled a weary ex-vent, field rippling with long-suffering patience. "I'm afraid so, Ambassador. The captain seems...incapable of submitting forms in any semblance of proper order." He pinched the bridge of his olfactory sensor, nearly the same pose as them. an unmistakably human mannerism picked up from long acquaintance. "At this rate, reconciling his haphazard paperwork will occupy the majority of your work cycle."

Magnus observed the ambassador's flagging energy levels with mild concern. "Perhaps you should take a brief respite. Overexerting yourself serves no purpose - I can handle the captain's responsibilities for the time being."

His tone, while stern, held an undercurrent of genuine care. Despite their differences, he cared deeply for the ambassador; their well-being remained in everyone's best interests. 

"The schedules can wait. I suspect you've had enough excitement for one orn already." A hint of dryly amused. "I'll be alright Magnus, Just got a headache and sore. Really wasn't planning on dealing with reports, but it beats having to do holovids with Prowl, I want to strangle that mech some times." They reply leaning back in their seat, bringing their drink up and holding it in their hands as they close their eyes for a moment.

Prowl's combative nature makes diplomatic discourse a...trial, to say the least." He cycled another heavy ex-vent. "Though I must say, your own entanglements have proven equally...taxing, of late." Magnus leveled them with a pointed look, with a hint of mild disapproval.

"I trust you understand the risks involved, consorting so closely with the crew. Propriety and protocol exist for good reason - to maintain order and prevent compromising our mission." 

Yet beneath the stern admonishment, a thread of genuine concern shone through. "I only caution you to tread carefully, little one. The games played aboard this ship can be...treacherous, for those caught unawares."

His gaze softened marginally. "I would not see you come to harm, simply for wishing to find companionship in these trying times. Despite what you and others may think i do care about you" 

Embarrassment slowly works its way into their system as they look down as if they were a child who just got caught stealing something. "How.. how did you" they start not knowing how to continue talking. "Come now, Ambassador - did you truly think your...activities would escape my notice?" Magnus replied, a hint of wryness in tone.

He shook his helm slightly. "I may be strict, but I'm not blind. The signs were...quite evident.” Leaning back in his chair, Magnus fixed the ambassador with a measured look. "I'll not lecture you on proper conduct - Primus knows life aboard this ship is complicated enough as it is." Attempting to soothe their clear discomfort. "However, I must urge caution. Entanglements with subordinates."

They continue to look down for a moment processing his words. "I know, I wasn't planning on getting involved with anyone, it just sort of happened. Told Ratchet that it was to stay on the down low, and Ratchet had the same concern about risk, he wanted to make sure if something did happen with other bots outside of him and Drift that i had someone to trust if something happened. I was just worried that if you, Rodimus or Megatron found out. My job was gone" they mumble, they were filled with so much anxiety and panic over the situation only for the mech they feared the most about it to just say he knew. 

Magnus cycled a heavy vent. "I see. That...explains certain observations, I must admit." He rubbed a servo over his faceplate. "Ratchet and Drift, of all mechs. I confess, I had not anticipated that particular entanglement."

Fixing the ambassador with a level stare, Magnus continued, "However, you needn't fear repercussions from myself or the others." A hint of wryness entered his tone. " We've all been there, at one point or another." 

They let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you Magnus, and I'm making sure to look after myself. Woah just wasn't expecting to be having this conversation with you is all. You have no idea how much fear I had about you finding out about my um.. 'activities'. You bots aren't exactly subtle about your 'human fucker' content  " they state before slowly having another mouthful of their drink.

He nodded in acknowledgement. "I understand your concern. confess, even I am not entirely immune to the temptations that arise. However, I endeavor to maintain strict protocols."  Magnus continued solemnly, "I cannot - and will not - control the personal affairs of my crew. That is a burden I do not wish to bear."

A hint of wryness entered his tone. "Though I must admit, the antics of Megatron and Rodimus have certainly tested my patience on more than one occasion. They are both very fond of you"

“I had a feeling they were. Magnus you being tempted, now that's new to me, I'm sorry they are causing you trouble” they chuckle, smiling up at him, enjoying the banter.  

"Ratchet and Drift both know I'm not interested in a relationship, it's mainly just stress relief, and i think Sunstreaker just has a bjt of a kink for someone who isn't going to scratch his paint" they confirm, making him aware of yet another bot involved. Magnus's optics widened fractionally at the mention of Sunstreaker - another unexpected development in this tangled web. "I see. So Sunstreaker as well, hmm?"

”It would appear you...ambassador has been quite diligent in cultivating a support network aboard this ship." Fixing the human with a measured look, Magnus continued, "And you are certain this...arrangement suits you? Entanglements with the crew, regardless of intent, can prove...complicated."

The nod. “Yes, I'm content and want to keep this on the down low, I don't need it getting back to my superiors on earth, nor do I need Prowl making issues of it.” They explain. In truth they were very happy with the arrangement, and felt less guilty now that they were talking with Ultra Magnus over the situation. 

"I merely wish to ensure you are not inadvertently placing yourself in jeopardy, little one." Magnus paused, considering his next words carefully. "However, if this provides you the stress relief you require, then I shall refrain from further commentary." A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Though I must admit, I'm somewhat impressed by your...resilience, in the face of such formidable suitors."

It makes their face fluster as they look away from him quickly. “That's not funny and you know it” they huff under their breath only for him to let out a soft rumbled noise. Shaking his helm ruefully, the Autobot commander returned his attention to the ever-present datapads. "Very well. You have my discretion and, should you need, my counsel as well."

"They have all been good to me, very respectful and accommodating. They mainly have been dead quiet about involvement because of you actually." They hum. "Well technically you, Megatron and Rodimus. You three I do look up to alot, and your opinion means alot to me. I was just worried you would have me court martialled and shipped back to earth for fraternization "

Magnus's field rippled with a mix of surprise and begrudging respect. "I see." 

"While I cannot condone such...personal entanglements, I confess I am impressed by your discretion thus far. It speaks to a level of maturity and pragmatism I had not anticipated." Magnus met their gaze steadily. "You have proven yourself a valuable asset to this ship. I would not see that jeopardized, simply due to youthful indiscretions." 

With that now out of the way they sit there quietly before looking up at ultra Magnus from their spot sitting on the desk. "Could I have a hug, at the moment I can feel myself shaking from the fear and anxiety " they try to joke and make light of how afraid they were of him finding out. 

Magnus regarded the ambassador with a soft expression, field pulsing understanding. "Of course." He gently scooped them up, cradling their small frame against his chest in a rare display of tenderness. "There is no need to fear, Ambassador." His deep voice rumbled with reassurance as he lightly stroked their back.

They lean their head against his plating, relaxing against him.  "Thank you, you're a real one Magnus. No one will ever change that" Magnus rumbled softly, the vibration soothing against the ambassador's frame. "You are most welcome. I am merely doing what I believe is right."

He gently adjusted his hold, ensuring their comfort as they leaned into him. A rare, small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "You have earned my trust, Ambassador. That is no small feat."

With that, Magnus simply held the ambassador, allowing them the chance to find solace in the steadiness of his frame. And in truth he rather enjoyed holding them close. 

_______________

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[shikariiin]

Hello! I adore your art, and I was wondering if I could ask you a question:

How do you come up with your designs? They are so pretty, especially Eddie and James ♡♡

I'm asking this because I'm having trouble creating designs for both Gordon and James for my AU, Hope.

Thank you for seeing this, I wish you a splendid day/night! :3

Why hello!!!

Oh gee I would ramble alot in this

Before I make a design, I like to list things that I like about them, their hcs, their ethnicity, and their primary colors

For example, Edward's primary color is blue, but he as a character is a kind and soft soul, in my hc his patience thins faster in adults, so a combination of white and red is a great indicator of this, The red being on his Tie and hair tie so it doesn't overpower the other colors.

My James is the one that's a little complicated, mainly because he's more based on his ethnicity, but him being a vainy, self-centered and show-offy means he likes to stand out, he likes being in the center of attention, so gold is the next best option, but for my James because he have aspects of him that is more cozy (he likes cooking, making clothes and learning languages), earthy Brown is used to support the bright red, that also helps with tuning down his personality a bit.

And next, are Shapes!

Again, their personality plays a big part, in Designing it's a factor that you would want to show your character's personality through their design, The three pillars of Round, Square, and Triangle Aspects plays a huge role.

If you see here, My Edward has a more fluffy, friendly look to it, with a hint of an old soul, and a fire that had died out, his design is rounded.

The same with my James, he has more edge, a sharper touch than Edward!

Appearance is also important, wether you go hand to hand by giving them buffers like a literal anthropomorphic trains, mecha, or more human etc, appearance is an indicator.

You might make them all have the same uniforms because they're a worker, but giving (for example) Gordon square glasses, then combining it with his basely square body type, can indicate he's a strict person, so on.

My James has alot in his design

Golden details in his clothing, Brown as a secondary color, darker red on his coat so that it doesn't clash with the main red in his outer, earrings and lip piercing indicating he loves accessories to support/show off his appearance, the moles I give him for that beauty marks, the Batik on his coat to represent his proudness of his home country, the coat that he make himself, he wears make up to touch up his appearance.

Alot can go on in a design, Mine is not God-Tier level designing, and I'm not an extremely experienced character designer, but these are the indicators I usually do whenever I make my designs.

In simple terms, list what you want to have in your engine design, and build it off from there, this is to prevent overcrowdedness.

And that's all! Thank you for the ask!

You don't have to follow it step by step, be as comfortable as you like, these are just factors and tips to help in designing🩵

Hope it helps!!!

[iamgodsoopsie]

Astarion Headcanons (that you probably won't like) Pt. 1:

Part 2 link

BG3 does an excellent job at depicting SA trauma and the beginning of the healing process/journey. Many of the headcanons I've seen floating around (intentionally or unintentionally) gloss over the uglier side of healing from (prolonged) trauma. I'm not judging anyone for magically healing him, he's fictional after all, but I'd like to make some more ...realistic... headcanons.

Disclaimer: Everyone's healing process looks different, but they tend share commonalities. These headcanons are based on my own experiences. Not everyone who is healing from their trauma will experience what I have or have experienced it like I have.

[Please don't message me with explicit details about your trauma. I am at the point in my healing journey where I can share my experiences, and commiserate with other's similar experiences, but I am unable to support others in a more personal manner at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your healing process/ journey.]

Spoiler warning

Mental illness, SA, & DV Trigger Warnings

These headcanons are based on an Astarion who is still a spawn and romantically involved with a Tav who honestly loves him and isn't abusive or manipulative. Also Cazador is dead and Astarion got to stab him. They also assume that he himself does not turn into Cazador 2.0 or Wish.com Cazador.

He needs a LOT of love and patience. Which, frankly, many people don't have.

He's messy af. If "Damn bitch, you live like this?" was a person it'd be him. C-PTSD is a hell of a drug. I think he wants to be more organized and clean than he is, it's just going to be a looong process for his inside appearance to match his outside appearance. (His appearance may stay mostly the same or drastically change).

---Don't believe me? Just look at the outside of his tent: it's mostly organized and sophisticated, but the inside is messy and he sleeps on a plank of wood with a threadbare stained blanket.

He'll struggle with control issues rooted in his anxiety until he finds a way to channel that energy in to something productive and/or healthy.

---He'll veer between controlling micromanager (aggressive) and door mat (people pleasing/ passive) until he finds his (assertive) middle ground.

Anger issues ahoy! He went through "200 years of shit. PURE SHIT!" and had to dissociate/repress his feelings to 'survive'.

---Stabbing Cazador was cathartic, but it only released the surface level of his repressed rage.

-----An interesting line from the game that I haven't seen enough people talk about: When you tell Astarion to keep his cool when Cazador is goading him, Cazador scoffs and sarcastically asks Tav if they've witnessed his "fits of rage". (Of course a "fit of rage" to Cazador is probably Astaion having a slight frown when Cazador wants him to smile and be a pretty toy to show off.)

He will try to push you away and 'test' you to see if you stay consistent in respecting him and his boundaries. He needs to make sure you don't turn into a Cazador when you two are in an argument. He needs to be sure that his "No" is respected when in a steamy moment after a dry spell.

---This probably won't be as intense as it otherwise would've been because of what you two went through together, but he'll still do it.

-----He probably doesn't realize what he's doing, and when he does he'll shame spiral.

I hope you are prepared to patiently give lots of reassurance and affirmation about the same things over and over again.

---It'll sometimes seem as though he is seeking permission, but if you ever act as though you are giving him permission instead of affirmation/ reassurance he will become very defensive.

He's indecisive but unwilling to listen to your input.

---He went from 200 years of having no control or ability to make his own decisions to suddenly being free, he's going to feel overwhelmed.

-----He'll eventually realize that you have his best interest at heart and that you are not telling him what to do, you're offering suggestions to help him make an informed decision.

There's so much more but I'm tired. He'll eventually heal and live a happy and healthy life, but it'll be a bumpy road to get there.

[daughterofcain-67]

𝐄𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 (pt. 6)

(Beau Arlen x Female Reader)

(masterlist)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Beau is working restlessly to get you back and it’s killing him that it’s already been several hours with no sign of you. Agent Sampson is doing his best to remind Beau to keep a level head so Beau could get you back sooner rather than later. Meanwhile, you are doing everything you can to persevere and think of a way put of your situation with the limited recourses you have- which is next to none.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: kidnapping, TW: implications of non-con (no graphic detail), mild violence, i think that’s it?

You knew that several hours had gone by since you were taken from your home. That meant today was the anniversary of your husband’s death. What a hell of a day to spend it, being kidnapped and potentially taken out of the country within a couple of days. You still had yet to formulate any plans of escape.

The worst part is that you knew if you didn’t get out of this mess, you’d likely never see Beau again. That and you had plans for a movie night with him that weekend. Plans that were gone with the wind by now if you weren’t able to escape.

You wondered if Beau had told Cadence yet. You wondered what exactly he told her. You wondered if she’d be able to handle the news, if she would be okay. You hoped that she wouldn’t worry too much or she would find some way to distract herself from what was going on. She was your little sister and you hated when she worried about you. To be frank, you hated when anyone worried about you. Obviously you couldn’t exactly blame anyone for worrying about you with the situation you’re in now.

You were leaned back against the wall of the basement and you looked down at your wrists. These handcuffs weren’t your biggest concern. If you were lucky you could wiggle your wrists out of them. Then again you’ve tried that for the first couple of hours and the skin on your wrists was already cut and scabbed. You’d handle your wrists again soon but for now you were trying to think of how to get the chain off your ankle.

A part of you was glad you were barefooted when they took you. You thought that pulling your foot out would be difficult with shoes and socks on. The other part of you wished you had some shoes though because you felt like your toes were freezing. It’s not like they had a heater in this particular basement.

“Come on, think. You’ve watched cop shows once in a while, and Beau’s talked about cases where captives have escaped before. You can do this.” You spoke to yourself. However, you didn’t exactly have bobby pins in your hair or paper clips so you could pull one of those moves like you’ve seen in the movies where people pick their way out of their shackles.

All you could really do at the moment was wait. Be patient, continue to wiggle your limbs until you were free but who knew how long that would take. And unfortunately, patience was not exactly your strong suit.

Suddenly you heard the door open and when you glanced up, you saw the King. Andre was there without his mask and he had a crown pin on the top left corner of his blazer jacket. He looked so different compared to the first day that the two of you met.

“What do you want.” You glared and Andre hummed a little.

“I just wanted to talk, Sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Andre sighed a little before he walked towards you. You wished you had some kind of superpower to just teleport out of here, or maybe even make yourself invisible. If you could shrink and disappear into the wall, you would. Anything to just avoid the man in front of you. Obviously you couldn’t do that though.

“Aren’t you in the wrong position to be giving demand’s like that?” He asked but then Andre looked down and saw how your wrists were starting to scab over and he tilted his head a little.

“I suppose its a good thing those cuffs aren’t any bigger.” The chuckle he let out made you feel sick to your stomach.

“What did you want to talk about so we can just get this bit over with.”

“Touchy touchy. I was just going to suggest that… maybe you can work for me personally. That way you don’t have to go out of the country soon and be sold off as a slave. You could be here although… you would have to give your business to me, and not have any contact with your little sheriff friend.” He said.

“There’s no way I’d give in to something like that. That business would go to Cadence before it could ever go to someone like you.”

“Cadence… you know, she would have made a good candidate too for this little operation. She’s such a sweetheart.”

“Shut up.” You seethed and he squatted down in front of you before he reached out, the next thing you knew he had your jaw in his hands and you could feel his fingertips keeping a firm hold of your face.

“If you were smart, you’d watch your tone with me.” He said and you spat in his face.

His eyes darkened as he let out low growl of disapproval, “You’ll pay for that. And you’ll pay dearly. So be a dear and keep quiet.”

Your eyes widened when he gripped at your shirt and tore the material….

Cadence took the news pretty hard, just like Beau knew that she would. It killed him to see the way her face fell when she found out her sister was taken. All he could really advise her to do was close up the cafe if she didn’t have anyone to keep it open for her if she needed time away.

Much to Beau’s surprise though, Cadence agreed to keep the cafe open and just keep working. Cadence said you would have wanted her to be strong for your sake. Although she did agree to take the first couple of days off just to see if you would come home and you would have someone to go home to.

After he met up with Cadence and took her home, Beau went right back to the office to find out if Hoyt or Poppernack have found anything, or even if Agent Sampson was making himself useful. He swore that if the FBI were going to drag their feet on this he may end up having to take care of everything himself, or get Cassie to help him out since she didn’t have the same rules as the FBI.

Once he pushed the doors open he saw that some other agents were there, no doubt a part of Harlen Sampson’s team.

“Pompernickle!” Beau called and looked around only to see a hand raised up.

“Right here, Boss!”

Beau walked over and stood behind the deputy at his desk, “Please tell me you’ve found something to get to Sampson.”

“Actually, the fingerprints we found over at Irene’s place did in fact match the ones that were at Y/N’s house. We just got the results from the database. Somebody was slacking here in Montana.” He said.

“And who’s that supposed to be?”

“Our guy Ace? He wasn’t the only one at you houses. There were two sets of prints. We found out that this Ace guy is related to your Andre fella. A cousin, actually. His name is Matvey, or simply Mat, Bolkonsky. Related on the paternal side.” Poppernack said just as Agent Sampson walked up.

“Another Bolkonsky, huh? He was born and raised Russian and he tried to move down here when Andre’s father started their so called jewelry company. Turns out he wasn’t really the best of the bunch and he was charged with drug dealing. He ended up getting a kid killed with those drugs about seven years ago. Naturally he was charged with second degree murder, unfortunately he got out for good behavior with parole. And we haven’t heard anything on him since, although he has been a suspect for other gang related activities and I don’t think murder and kidnapping is out of his range.” The agent said.

“So what does that mean? If he’s here and he’s with Andre, we can go over to Andre’s place and ask about aiding a suspect if he was the one that did kidnap Y/N right? Well what are we waiting for?” Beau said.

“Legitimate proof that Andre was there too. We’re waiting on the results for the second set of fingerprints. We also need to consider the idea that Andre may not have known about this.” Agent Sampson replied and Beau’s hands turned into fists.

“You’re kidding me, right? To me this sounds like enough to at least have an interview with the guy since you’re so intent on doing this by the book. We’ve gone on less even if this is circumstantial.” The sheriff reminded.

“If I may say something,” Poppernack chimed in, “If you do have that interview with him, there is a reason. He was the last known person to have seen Y/N after all so if we propose it as simply routine questions to cross him off the list as a suspect, he may be cooperative.”

“I’m on it.” Beau said and was about to walk past the desk.

“You aren’t going by yourself. Someone like you is going to go there and bite his head off and ruin everything. I’ll be going with you.” Agent Sampson said.

“No offense, Agent, but I’m pretty damn good at my job and I know what the hell I’m doing. I’ve been in this job long enough to know how to handle a situation like this. I’m not some damn rookie.”

“Fine, but I’m still going with you so it at least looks good on the papers. It is technically the FBI’s case still and we want these guys to go away for good. So try to keep that in mind while you’re trying to keep your cool.” He reminded as he walked out of the door.

Beau just glared at the agent. He knew Sampson was right about doing this by the book, but it still ticked him off. He wasn’t about to waste time on this. Sure he’ll do this by-the-book interview. But the moment things go south, Beau may need to make some plans to conduct an interview all on his own.

The sheriff went to his car and the agent ended up following him to the vehicle and they got in.

“Listen, I know you’re angry and I don’t know what kind of connection you have to the… captive.” Beau could hear the agent begin to speak, “I’ve been where you are with my wife before. It’s vital to keep your head on straight.”

“Thanks for the words of wisdom.” Beau rolled his eyes and started his car.

“I’m serious, Arlen. I lost control and nearly lost my wife for good because the perps almost got away with nothing but a slap on the wrist. That’s why we need to get this done right.”

The sheriff looked down at his steering wheel for a moment. Of course he could at least take the words into consideration, but he knew that you were too important to lose. And if this Bolkonsky business were to go south, being too slow with the law may get you lost just as fast as recklessness.

“Let’s just focus on getting Y/N back to her sister. Andre’s our first stop and hopefully we’ll come across another lead like surveillance of Mat participating in suspicious activity.”

Forty-six minutes…

That worst forty-six minutes of your life and you had counted every second if it just to keep from screaming. You didn’t know what Andre was capable of if you ignored his warning and tried to scream or make any sounds.

“Well… I don’t think the clients will mind slightly used goods. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a business to run.” Andre said as he pulled up his pants.

You couldn’t make direct eye contact with this man after what he had done. Your everything ached but you were glad it was finally over.

Andre was nothing but scum of the earth, and even after what happened… you were trying so hard to be strong. But after those forty-six minutes, you were beginning to wonder what the point of strength was if something like this could happen no matter how patient or optimistic a person tried to be.

Then you heard a phone ringing, of course it was Andre’s. When he answered you could see the slightly annoyed features on his face.

“Hello, Sheriff. How can I be of assistance?” He asked.

Your eyes widened.

Beau was on the phone. He was really looking for you! He was looking for you right? You weren’t imagining all of this?

You had to do something, now was your chance! Andre didn’t take your mouth up or anything so you had to do something. This could be your only shot!

“Beau! He has me in some basement! He could go after Cade-“ a harsh stinging erupted on your face from where Andre smacked you.

“Oh no, Sheriff. That’s just some movie I’m watching at a friends house. He has a weird and nearly concerning taste in film. I can come and meet you to talk about the date in just a few moments. Let’s say… Tonya and Donno’s place? I’ve heard they have some great sandwiches. My treat.” Andre said.

The charm that Andre tried to have made you cringe. How disgusting did this man have to be to think he could use charisma like that after what he just did. And how stupid did he think that Beau was?

“Uh huh… I see. My cousin? Oh I didn’t even know he was in town. I suppose great minds of the family think alike. We’ll discuss this more when we aren’t on the phone. If we talked about everything now we’d just be limited to small talk and that’s always awkward.” He laughed.

When the phone call was done, Andre turned and glared at you.

“You’re worried about your sister that much, huh? Well maybe we ought to give you something to worry about now that you may have ruined everything by screaming.” He promised.

Then he walked out of the basement door, locking you up once again.

Your mind started racing. You hoped to what’s god was out there that Beau really did hear you. But on the other hand, you were terrified for your sister’s safety. What if Andre really would send his crew to go after Cadence like they did to you?

You couldn’t have your baby sister go through the same thing you’ve endured. You refused to let that happen.

“Please, Beau… if you heard me at all, send someone to the house to keep Cadence safe.” You pleaded, even though you knew there was no one listening.

You felt something roll down your cheek and when you lifted your cuffed hands to your face, you felt tears. You didn’t realize you were crying and honestly you thought you were a little dehydrated to do that. You supposed you were wrong but maybe the moment Andre mentioned your sister put things a little more into perspective.

“I have to get out of here.” You vowed and looked at your scabbed wrists and started to try and wiggle out of them yet again but you had even more of a reason to escape, more of a reason to try.

Hey guys, I know this chapter was a bit more intense than the previous. But I hope you enjoyed so far. Thank you to those of you who have been commenting, reblogging and liking these chapters. I really appreciate it! Love you all!

Tag List:

@roseblue373 @deans-spinster-witch @chriszgirl92 @fanfic-n-tabulous

[wolveria]

The Raven’s Hymn - Ch 32

Pairing: SCP-049 x Reader

Series Warnings: Eventual smut, dubcon, slow burn, violence, horror, death, monsters, human experiments, dark with a happy ending

Chapter Summary: “What did you dream?”

AO3

You were led to another room not far, only further down the hall. This one had the typical layout of an interview room, and you were firmly placed into the metal chair with one restraint removed as the guard looped the chain through the small bar welded to the table.

The scientist, a man in his 50s with short-cropped grey hair, his face unfamiliar, didn’t sit at the other end, but instead consulted his tablet as he stood off to one side.

“What did you dream?” he asked without preface once your wrists were both shackled again. You the scientist with a scowl as you turned over the question in your head.

SCP-5964 was a coin forged in a time of bloodthirsty monarchs and civil war, except it had one unfortunate effect. Placing it under the pillow of a person would lead them to have a single, lucid nightmare. No matter how terrible or implausible the nightmare was, whatever happened in the dream would play out within 24 hours, leading to the person’s death. People have drowned in the middle of meetings, caught on fire swimming at the beach, or cannibalized while tilling a field.

You pressed your lips together to stop their trembling.

“I didn’t.”

The door opened.

“You’re lying.”

You sank in your chair. Site Director Leahy gave a nod to the other scientist, dismissing him before his eyes fixed on you. He sat in the empty chair that was your opposite, smoothing down his tie as he did so.

Your glare was unblinking.

“What did you see, Reid?”

“I didn’t see anything,” you repeated, inflection flat. “The SCP had no effect on me.”

Leahy gave you a look before glancing down at his tablet, scrolling through it until getting what he wanted. He then flipped it around for you to see, an image painting its surface in greens, reds, and yellows. It was similar to an infrared spectrum but with much more detail, able to monitor a subject’s hormone levels through the biometric lens of an advanced camera. One you hadn’t noticed in the room, but from its angle, you knew where it had been hidden: a ventilation grate.

The display showed you in a prone position, taken while you were asleep in that room, and showing heightened signs of brain activity and hormonal stress. You shrank in further on yourself as Leahy turned the tablet back around.

“Now you can see the lie for yourself. You gave all the indications of an intense dream. What was it?” When you held your tongue, he added, “We only have one more test, and it will be the last. For now.”

“Not going to threaten me some more?”

Your patience with the Site Director was at an all-time low. You were aching from interrupted sleep, chilled by cold sweat, and trying not to squirm from the discomfort of your damp undergarments.

He shrugged, leaning back in his chair.

“I can, if you wish. SCP-049 is being a little too willful these days. Perhaps a few minutes in a dark room with 173 will correct this newfound defiance.”

Despite his causal lean and the almost lazy drawl of his words, he wasn’t bluffing. Leahy clearly didn’t care about the policies against cross-testing with different SCPs, let alone punishing them.

You stared down at your hands, curled against the table and rendered harmless by unnecessary shackles. You didn’t know what to say. Because the SCP had reacted to you in an anomalous way, but unless you were going to die by 049’s cock in the next 24 hours, its effect was different.

A bubble of hysterical laughter lodged in your throat. You covered your mouth, but a choked noise still escaped.

“You’re not going to be sick, are you?” Leahy frowned. “If so, point it away from me.”

You coughed into your hand and swallowed down the giggle fit before it could start. This was beyond fucked, there was nothing funny about it, and yet the deranged imperative to laugh still remained.

“No, no… I’m fine.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“Maybe I’ll stick you both with 173 and see who it favors more.”

“No!”

Your chains clinked as your back went stiff, and Leahy’s smirk told you he got the reaction he wanted.

Bastard.

Closing your eyes, you took a breath and forced yourself to think. You had to give Leahy something, and it damn well wasn’t going to be the truth. A believable lie was what you needed, but you’d never been particularly good at those, especially elaborate ones.

Maybe it didn’t need to be elaborate. Maybe it just needed to be incredulous enough to buy.

Maybe, you needed another liar.

You opened your eyes and let your shoulders sag just enough to indicate surrender.

“There was a containment breach.”

Now it was Leahy’s turn to sit up, his posture straight as he leaned against the table.

“In the nightmare?”

You nodded slowly, as if recalling the details against your will.

“It was… bad.”

“Who started it?”

“I don’t know.”

“How many casualties?”

“I don’t know.”

“Where does the breach happen?!”

“I don’t know!” you snapped back. “I just remember fleeing to a garage. There were Foundation vehicles, and we took one. To escape into the forest.”

“We?”

Leahy took the bait, but you hesitated. It wasn’t for show.

“Someone was… with me. An SCP.”

“Go on.”

Pressing your lips together, you shifted uncomfortably in your chair.

“I think he started the breach. He came for me, and we left together.”

“Who, Reid,” Leahy growled. “Give me a designation.”

You prayed for forgiveness. Even this SCP didn’t deserve the Site Director’s cruel attention.

“SCP-035.”

Leahy glared at you for a long moment in which you didn’t look away, not until you dropped your eyes, shame forcing you to hide. An emotion that was uncomfortably truthful.

The Site Director stood, not speaking to you again as he nodded to the guard and left the room. The two guards unlatched you from the table and led you to a place you’d been hoping to see: a heavy containment cell with thick doors and no way of escape. Leahy had bought your story, and you were on lockdown for the next 24 hours.

There was nowhere for you to rest, but you were delivered meals and clean clothes through an automated delivery system in the wall. It could have been worse, at least you were left alone and there was a rudimentary shower in one corner. But 24 hours was a long time in solitary, and your mind wandered back to a place it didn’t want to go.

The dream had been so real. Too real. Every detail was accurate, down to 049’s smell and the unique texture of his robes. You’d had no idea it was a dream, only an impending sense of it ending soon, perhaps your subconscious mind knowing it was inevitable to wake up. Your urgency for 049 to finish what you both had started had been all-consuming, and even now there was an echo, an emptiness left unfulfilled. Overt sexual desire wasn’t something you were prone to, but the dream version of yourself had had no compunctions about getting thoroughly fucked by 049 as quick as possible.

You buried your face in your hands and tried to think about anything but the dream, and like a lingering bad odor, 035 crept into your thoughts instead. Specifically, his words regarding 049—how old the SCP was, and that no one but you had touched him before. How the loneliness must affect him after centuries of solitude, even when surrounded by his disciples. You could imagine it all too well, the way 049 would keep them at a proper, polite distance. Hadn’t he tried the same with you?

It was difficult to know how much of it was truth, and how much of it was 035’s usual embellishment and love of a compelling story. It made sense that he would paint 049 as a tragic, romantic figure. It also didn’t mean he was wrong.

And then there was 035. You shouldn’t sympathize with such a dangerous anomaly, and yet, you hoped he wouldn’t face harsh consequences for your lie. Leahy was ambitious, but he wouldn’t be able to destroy the mask. The Foundation had tried many times, almost as many times as they’d tried to kill 682—who, apparently, might not be as dead as once thought.

And that same Foundation had known you were anomalous from the start according to 035. You didn’t know how it was possible, surely there would have been signs, and they wouldn’t have given you so much freedom with the SCPs. How much did Dr. Puli know? How much did Leahy?

049, 682, your own history. How reliable was this information with 035 as the storyteller? Unreliable narrator didn’t begin to cover it.

The one good thing about being isolated was it gave you plenty of time to sort out the last few days in your head, but by the end, you were ready to claw at the walls. Even seeing Leahy’s face when he entered your cell the next morning was nearly a welcome sight.

His satisfied smirk didn’t bode well, and neither did the guards at his side.

“Seeing as there were no containment breaches, it’s safe to assume the coin does not show you something that will inevitably happen.”

He moved closer and crouched, now eye level with you where you sat leaning against the wall.

“It shows you something that will never happen.”

The urge to give the Site Director a good punch while you had the chance fell away, the dream springing up in its place. An impossible dream, one that 24 hours had proved wouldn’t take place.

You looked away, hating that the disappointment on your face would sell the lie, hating even more that it wasn’t a lie at all.

“Get her up.”

Leahy moved out of your space, replaced by two guards who hauled you to your feet and secured the manacles around your wrists. They were beginning to chaff and bruise, but you didn’t resist as they led you to a freight elevator at the end of Heavy Containment.

Only when you got inside and Leahy inserted his keycard and put in a code did you pay attention, especially when he didn’t enter a floor number.

The elevator shuddered and began its descent, its movements utilitarian and not smooth as the lab elevators were. It kept going for a minute, then two, far past any floor that should exist.

Down, down, down. Straight into the belly of the beast.

You weren’t going to the basement levels. You were going beneath Site-20.

Next Chapter

[goldeneyedgirl]

Hey! @sonyawix

This is an interesting take and I had to consult with the Holder of the Jalice Braincells (@volturialice) to really break this down.

It sounds like the author of that take is kind of more interested in perfect, idealized relationships and might not be a fan of Alice, honestly. Plus SMeyer made a lot of the relationship dynamics in canon a really odd thing - we see all three Cullen relationships as very one-dimensional because of the relationship triptych I've ranted about before.

Because of Alice's backstory and her gift, we know that she's going to be a bit of a weirdo. She's essentially bet everything she has that the pictures in her brain are a path to happiness, that Jasper will make her happy. She has no reference point to interpersonal relationships beyond her visions, she has no memories of humanity; we really aren't shown exactly what level she was functioning at when she woke up. Those 28 missing years would be fascinating in how she built herself into a functional individual, honestly.

She bets everything on Jasper, and I think that shows what an optimistic, determined person she is. She could have gone to the Cullens straight away and probably would have been welcomed warmly - there's nothing in canon indicating that wasn't an option. But for whatever reason, Alice commits to waiting for Jasper. That's loyalty and dedication and love.

Just because their meeting was fated/planned doesn't mean it isn't meaningful.

So Alice seeing Jasper for all those years is not going to necessarily match up with him in real life. It's one thing to know a person has trauma, it's entirely another to meet that traumatized, depressed person. It's one thing to get the greatest hits of the relationship pumped straight into the brain, it's another to have all those small moments, those in-between times.

We know from Jasper's time with Maria that he tends to deify the women he's involved with. He put both Maria and Alice on a pedestal. That's just how he loves and commits - fully and totally. His 'hyperfocus' on Alice is a sign of how much he loves and treasures her. I honestly don't think it would have mattered how or when they met, Jasper would have treated her the same - the most precious thing he has.

We also know that Jasper has spent the best part of one hundred years in a high-stress environment where nothing was guaranteed. He didn't trust Maria at the end. So being introduced to someone who could tell him which path would be safe? Where there was no risk or fighting? I think that would be an incredible support for Jasper. I imagine in the early days, he'd probably ask Alice to check the future more than necessary because of his PTSD. And I can imagine Alice checking every time he asked, and going over all the details with love and patience.

And we know that Jasper does go against her wishes - he disagreed with her decision to return to Forks when Alice thought she had died, and Alice went alone (side note, if Jasper had gone with her, there was an opportunity for a lot of Eclipse set up right there.)

As for dehumanizing all her relationships, Alice is very distinctively trying to help throughout the series. It might be over the top, and it might not go to plan, but all of her visions and guidance are meant to help the people she loves. Alice has never known life without her sixth sense, so of course she uses it like we use our five senses. Does it give her a God-complex? Yes. Do I think it's meant to be more of a nod to Meyer's insistence on calling her a 'pixie' and utilizing fae imagery since fairies in lore are supported to love helping? Absolutely.

I think it's pretty disingenuous to say that people are 'ideas' to Alice when she was changed and abandoned. It's more likely that Alice is more intensely aware of what makes them happy so that they all stay together and she's not left alone again. If she didn't see people as people, but as chess pieces, then she wouldn't have go to see Charlie when she thought Bella was dead; she wouldn't have gone to Volterra to save Edward; she wouldn't have taken Jasper with her to find the hybrid.

So yeah, I disagree pretty strongly with this because it feels more like a way to minimize and dismiss Alice and her relationship with Jasper. But this is just my take on the character, and I'm sure there are dozens of different readings and interpretations out there!

[litsnobconfessions]

Year of Animation Day 99-100: Bluey S3E1-13

Date: April 9-10, 2025

Day: 99-100

Content Watched: Bluey, Season 3, Episodes 1-13

Year: 2018-present

Rating: TV-Y

Run Time: 91 minutes

I've noticed just how often they have shots of the moon in this show, and I kind of like it. But my favorite bit of animation is definitely the way Chili climbs back onto the couch in "Bedroom." Because I move like that.

My favorite episode of this lot is "Magic." I like how everything comes together to talk about consent in kid-friendly terms--that it's better when people do things for you because they want to, not because you make them, and how this doesn't just apply to kids wanting adults to play with them. I also really like the ending, which felt like an homage to The Craft, whether or not it was.

But I also really like the structure of "Curry Quest," which reminds me of of season 3, episode 16 of Northern Exposure, "The Three Amigos," which has The Call of the Wild running over it. 

My least favorite episode was "Unicorse," mostly because I wasn't really sure of the point. Was Bandit trying to wear Bluey out? Was this a test of patience for Chili? Was it just introducing him for "Puppets" later on? And sure, you don't need a lesson with every episode, but when we've got "Magic" and "Born Again" and "Obstacle Course" and "Omlette..." well, "Unicorse" is just blah.

My favorite game, without a doubt, was "Born Again." I think this would be so much fun to play with kids, and I really like how it ends by basically encouraging us to play this in our every day lives, whether or not we're with kids. Because we do tend to lose our sense of wonder, and when you take a step back and let yourself see things like that again? It's pretty amazing.

I also enjoyed the rug race in "Bedroom," and I wish I had rules for it. I thought this episode was interesting because it was a little like the girls going through a mutual divorce--complete with the stuffie that belonged to both of them. Though I did think it really interesting that Bingo basically let Bluey have everything, and I kind of wanted that to come back. This episode is also a good example of how they work details into the story so well, as Bluey and Bingo mention their grandad forgot Bingo was born. Considering what happened when Grandad had his own episode, I really like the consistency.

Similarly, I liked Bluey singing everything as an opera in "Mini-Bluey." We've seen her do this before, and it really makes me wonder if my friend, who is an actual opera singer, experiences this with her own kids. Also... is Bingo so used to it that she just wears noise canceling headphones whenever she's reading so she doesn't have to put up with Bluey's singing?

But my favorite detail is in "Sheepdog," when Bingo is telling her mother jokes. I used to teach kindergarten, and my lunch period was filled with jokes like these. I also like the bit about mullets being back in because they are. At least here, anyway. I know several high schoolers who are sporting them.

My favorite takeaway is probably "Housework," if only because I've got a lot of housework that needs to be done, and like the Heelers, I detest it. But this episode reminds me of all the games my sister invented when we were kids to make housework easier. Why don't we invent so many games for things like this as adults? I mean it, though. I'm going to have to create some housework games to get my house clean.

But I also really liked "Obstacle Course," which reminded me of playing games with my brother, who was always way better at them than I was. Of course, I particularly like that Chili tells Bandit that the girls don't need everything turned into a competition, which I agree with. I feel like sometimes we push kids too hard to win and don't let them just have fun.

And "Omlette," which made me think of an article I read a while back about how you should let your kids (yes, even your littles) help with the cooking. Overall, I just feel like Bluey leveled up in season 3.

But I want to end on "Chest" because I love games and I use them a lot with the kids in my life. I do agree with Bandit that they can develop some serious mental skills, but you don't need to play chess, specifically, for this. And I think I may need to do a post at some point suggesting some better options for Bandit to play with his daughters.

[immedealwithit9855]

These Bells Ain't Ringin!'

Summary: So, you've been taken away on the spot by an oversized alligator who happens to be the Southern version of LeatherHead from the 80s. Luckily, the watch Donnie gave you is still active but for how long?

Being carried around by an alligator was not in your plans for today. It didnt help that he bolted further and further away from the vehicle. You wished this didn't happen. Matter of fact, you wished none of this happened. While he was rambling on about your 'supposed future' together, you recalled what Splinter taught you, regarding patience. You've surpassed your normal level of patience. Hearing LeatherHead talking became irrelevant as your thoughts shifted to Raphael. It was a rash decision to give yourself up like that, but you had to otherwise he could order his fellow alligators to rampage the town or who knows what. They didn't do anything. You tried to gather as much information on this mutant as you could while there was still life in the watch Donnie gave you.

"So, you don't seem to be from around here."

"Nah, I is from Lousiana. But, not da one from here."

You quirked a brow.

"What do you mean?"

You could feel his churs against your stomach. It nauseated you.

"One minute I'm swimmin' da bayou, chasin,' some frogs, next thing I know I end up here."

"Hmm. Was there a flash of light? Or did it feel like your body was pulled away or something?" You wanted to get as much deets as you could while the guys were making their way to find you.

"Somethin' like dat. Ain't like where I'm from, but there be a lotta territory here." He chuckled. You continued to engage in conversation.

"How long have you been here?"

He took a moment to process your question. "It been 5 years since I been here. You gotta lotta questions for a human gal, ma cherie."

Your eyes quivered. He was warped here just like you. Hes been here for 5 years, you've been here for 3. Whatever was going on, it left you in a dimension that's not your own. Along with him.

"I imagine you feel lonely, huh? Is that why you left that scary note?"

"I ain't mean ta scare ya, I wanted ta meet ya. When I heard ya sangin,' I fell in love."

You'd be flattered if he wasn't so threatening. Him having you over his shoulder made it easy to speak through the watch. Hopefully, it went through. You wanted to reassure the turtles you were okay. Where you were going, will be shocking.

Meanwhile, The turtles along with Splinter went into the woods in search of you. Donnie continued to listen in on the conversation you were having with LeatherHead. He started to feel a tad sorry for him. His situation is similar to yours yet he's a mutant like them and has limited options when it comes to being out in the open. "The signal is getting patchy, soon we won't be able to here or even track her!"

"Thanks for that, Brainiac. Way ta motivate!" Raph rambles, shoving Donnie's shoulder.

"Your girlfriend is gathering a lot of info right now, is that comforting enough? Shes helping us out by giving us details about this guy." Donnie retorted, trying to get Raph off his shell.

"What else is she saying, Donnie?" Leo jumped in before another smart remark was made.

"Its starting to get patchy again, hang on." They stopped for Donatello to adjust the device to hear you better.

"Well, sucha beauty wit talent should hava groom kissin' at ya feet!"

The turtles stilled at that.

"GROOM!!?"

"You're not saying what I think your saying, are you?" You started to shiver.

"Yeah, darlin.' We gon hav ourselves a forest weddin!"

"If it makes things easy, I don't approve, bro!" Mikey responds, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder.

Suddenly the signal dropped. It was getting darker and darker as the trees became dense, creating a sense of uncertainty.

"He won't hurt her, we gotta approach this carefully. Can't be sloppy with this!" Leo reminded.

"He is right. She is strong and loyal, we should trust she can handle herself until we get her back." Splinter adds.

They continued their tread despite the signal going.

As much as you hated to do it, you had no choice. LeatherHead has announced you were getting close to your destination. You took the orchid out of your hair, kissed it gently, tossing it on the ground in great view. Hoping your scent will be on Raph's radar if they get close.

You arrived at your destination. It was a large tree, much larger than the one near the lake. He placed you down on the ground, looking you over. "I could eat you up. Yous a special treat! You stay here while I get things ready!'" He groaned, tilting your head up to his face. He hissed, calling upon the alligators to usher you into a cave that was nearby. 'I really don't want this! Please come soon, guys! Please!' You whispered into the watch, unsure if it went through but you had to try. The alligator mother you met was there. She seemed uneasy as her eyes appeared to be troubled, glaring at LeatherHead walking away. You sat down in the cave, watching as the other gators left while she stayed. It was awkward, yet you weren't afraid. Her offspring came in and snuggled in your lap. The mother didn't react, as if she knew you were trustworthy.

"You have beautiful babies, hun." You complimented, baby gators climbing on you.

She walked over to you, nuzzled your cheek, then walked behind you and wrapped herself around you with her tail near your knees. As if she wants to protect you. "You're a good mother, you know that?" The babies started croaking, it was one the only things keeping you calm as you waited. You could sneak away, but you sense alligators and other animals close by, rather than making another scene, you stayed where you were.

It felt like forever, you didn't think the forest would be that huge. The mother alligator remained by your side with her babies. Before you knew it, you fell alseep.

The turtles used their senses to track you. The signal was too patchy so they had to rely on pure instincts. As they went deeper, Mikey came across your flower.

"Wow. This is pretty." Mikey sighed in amazement.

"Mikey we don't have time to be picking flowers we have to hurry before....."

"Wait! Thats Y/N!" Raph snatched the flower from his brother, your scent was fading but still present. "This way. We close!"

LeatherHead was headed towards the cave he held you in when he smelt the turtles. "So, yinz decided to show up, huh? Fam?" He turned towards the turtles, whipping his tail.

It was Leonardo and Donatello at a stand-still with LeatherHead. Both fascination with a fellow mutant, yet anger with him kidnapping one of their own. "We're here for the girl. Where is she?" Leonardo demanded.

"It be bad luck to see da bride before da weddin.' I'm willing to let by-gones be by-gones after seein' ya brotha bein' too friendly wit her!"

"What do you really want? It's obvious you want something else. Tell us what it is and let her go!" Donnie says, keeping the gators attention on him.

"I owe you nothin,' turtles. Ya want her, ya gotta go through me!" LeatherHead hissed, taking his fighting stance.

"Alright, fam. Let's see what ya got!"

So the battle began.

While Donnie and Leo kept him distracted, Mikey and Raph crept around, avoiding the alligators prowling the grounds. Raph caught a whiff of your scent, pointed in the direction of the cave. "We gotta get these gators outta the way!" Raph suggested. Mikey rubbed his hands together,"I got this, bro!"

You vaguely remember hearing rustling and hissing outside. It alerted you and the mother gator. Mikey peaked his head in the cave to find you in a corner snuggled up with a gator and the offspring. "Whoa, SweetCakes. Your okay, thank goodness. Playin' a nanny or....?" Mikey quipped. Then Raph came in, eyes nearly at the brink of tears as he saw you unharmed, holding baby gators in your lap and arms. They raised their hands as the mother gator growled and hissed at them. She wasn't just protecting her babies. You had a hunch that was insane but had to try for the sake of getting out of their alive. "It's okay, Mama." You softly said."These are my friends."

As if on queue, she calmed down. Allowing Mikey and Raph to get close. She didn't even flinch when Raph pulled you away. "How did you.....?" Not wanting to linger you abruptly responded,"I'll tell you later. For now let's go!" You still held onto the babies. "Ya gotta put those kids down. We gotta go!" Raph shouted. "I can't just leave them here! Its dangerous. LeatherHead is crazy. I don't think the Mom is comfortable with him being around her kids! I'm taking them, she'll follow." You lashed. There was no time for debate, you all fled.

As you ran, you heard grunts and the sound of trees being crushed. "Where is Leo and Donnie?" You asked, Raph pulling you behind him. Before responding, a strong tail whipped out from the darkness and smacked Raph and Mikey onto the ground, causing you to stumble and fall. The babies clinging to your shirt.

"Dat be my mate yinz touchin." The sound of his angry southern voice made you cringe. You were on the ground, slowly backing away from the 7ft tall alligator. "Please. This isn't right. You're better than this, LeatherHead. I know you are!" For a moment you thought his eyes shifted to a different color. Then, he lunged at you. Before his teeth could pierce your delicate flesh, he was kicked in the snout by none other than Master Splinter. "Go now! Get out of here, while we hold him off!" He ordered, as the turtles continued their assault on LeatherHead, while also fending off the other gators.

You could hear the large alligator roar as you ran further and further away.

The darkness taunting you as you bumped trees, scraped your ankles against twigs, the sound of hissing coming from behind you. You tripped and landed in a flowing stream. The babies croaked. None were harmed. Turning around, you are surrounded by alligators. Their eyes were predatory as they slowly stalked towards you. Your breaths quickened, the chill of the streams water working it's way up your body. "Guess this is it. It was fun while it lasted. I'm sorry for everything guys. Thank You, Raphael." You closed your eyes, awaiting your gruesome fate, holding the babies close to you.

Suddenly you heard quick feet coming towards you. Of all creatures to come to your rescue, it was the mother gator. You watched as she viciously fought the other gators. Chomping on their snouts, whipping her tail at them, using her claws to scratch at them. You were frozen, you couldn't move. Just watched. If a gator got too close she made him pay with his life.

The gators retreated, hissing. She turned towards you. You weren't sure what to say or do. She nuzzled your shoulder, snapping you out of your trance. Her churring made you feel relaxed. You checked all the babies, showing them to her so she knows they're all safe and accounted for. "Come on, let's get somewhere safe, okay?"

The battle continued as the turtles and Splinter took on LeatherHead. He had strength that was on par with all of them. "We're gettin' our shells handed to us, Leo!" Raph gruffed. Leonardo studied him, watching the angry gator as he stilled himself. "Sensei? Wanna play buck-buck with us?' Splinter curled his lips into a playful smile. "Well, I may be an old rat but I still have some play in me!"

"Thanks fa ruinin' my special day!" The gator grunted. "She will be mine. What a shame. I was gonna name our offspring after your brother! Hahahahahahaha."

His cackle igniting a wave of strength and motivation as the turtles and Splinters prepared to attack. They looked at each other. "Listen to Leo, guys." Raph muttered. "Lead the way, Bro!" Leo smirked, sharing a fist bump with his brother. They began their assault. Raph landing a hard punch to LeatherHead's temple, throwing him off. He landed on the ground, allowing Mikey to bounce over him, charge his foot into the gators abdomen. "He's gonna feel that later!" Donnie was next as he stepped on the shells of his brothers to swipe his staff beneath LeatherHead's legs, causing him to stumble backwards. Leo came forth, bouncing over his brothers, landing a firm punch to his snout. Splinter came last, racing over his son's shell, dealing the final blow to the enemies chest.

LeatherHead got dizzy and fell to the ground in exhaustion. Unbelieving that their was another mutant amongst them. Yet, saddened that he had to be a bad guy. "Good job, guys." Leo complimented. Question remains: what to do with him? Before any action was taken, LeatherHead jumped up and ran into the woods. The turtles and Splinter gave chase.

He came upon the stream. As soon as his feet touched the water. The water consumed him, he roared loudly as he disappeared. The turtles were dumbfounded. Raph recognizing the stream right away. "Where'd he go?" Leonardo asked, confused. Donnie scanned the area for larger lifeforms and couldn't detect any. "He was right here! Almost as if he....."

"Warped?" Mikey finished his brother's sentence.

"Yeah. I guess so."

"Well, there's nothing we can do. Let's hope wherever he's at, he stays there."

"We best return to the house. Let us pray Y/N is safe."

Raph heart throbbed at your name.

"Y/N! Where is she?" He demanded.

"She ran in that direction!"

"We gotta find her, man! Its too dark. Who knows what else is out here."

"Let us make haste. I'm not accustomed to being gator food!" Splinter reminding pointing at the gators stalking them.

"Get to higher grounds. Shake these chompers off our backs." Leo gave the order as they all jumped into the trees, prancing back to the house.

'Please be okay. Please, Baby!' Raph thoughts making him feral as he aggressively raced through the trees.

After a while, they arrived at the house. As they walked along the side of the barn, they heard hissing. "Great. More gators. This family reunion is getting old pretty fast!" Donnie groaned, shaking his head. Leonardo went up front to glance around the corner to the barn's doors. "It's another gator. It looks like it has babies"

A feminine voice rang out from the barn's walls. "Leo? Is that you? It's me, I'm in here!" The guys faces were relieved when they heard your voice. "Y/N? There's a gator out front blocking the door. Are you hurt?" Donnie yelled out. "Just a few scrapes but I'm alright. The gator is cool, she walked with me. She stayed out front, apparently." Raph walked out into the gators view along with his brothers, immediately recognizing it. "I think it's alright. She was protectin' Y/N when we found her in the cave." He says while raising his hands at her, showing he means no harm. You swiftly ran to the door, opening it carefully. The gator slowly moved to make room for you, shocking Donnie and Leo. "Shes more docile than the others. Interesting." He says, allowing the gator to catch his scent. You were filthy. Your leggings had torn holes in them. Your shirt got ripped at the hem. Cuts and bruises on your arms. Despite your appearance and obvious fatigue, Raph swooped in and surrounded you in his embrace. "Easy, man. We gotta get her in the house. She's hurt!" Mikey says.

The mother gator gathered her babies, gave them all a look, then disappeared into the lake. "Nice to know you're an animal lover." Said Leonardo. "Of course. I've always loved animals." You shared a smile.

Mikey and Donnie seen you shake. "I'll be okay. I'm just......" You were silenced by a firm Leonardo.

"Donnie I need you to do a full exam on her. Make sure everything is intact." He ordered.

Raphael refused to put you down. Concerned with losing you again. "It's okay, Raph. I can walk." He didn't let up. "Did he do anythin' to ya? I need ta know!" He demanded, the bass in his voice stern. "No. He didnt do anything. Thank goodness." Your voice itself reasurring him.

They walked back to the house. Fatigued from the battle. All of them watching Raph carry you, happy to know you survived. They didn't even realize they sun was slowly coming up. Time has indeed escaped them. April and Casey opened the door to let them all in. Raphael finally put you down, allowing April to hug you. "I'm so happy you're okay. We were so worried." She sobbed. You hugged her tighter, shaking but safe. Before Raph could trap you in his grasp, Splinter caught on, snatching you by the waist, lifting you up.

"Come. We should start with a shower and then proceed with the examination." Splinter says, putting the atmosphere in the house at a more quiet level.

It's been a long and frightening night, who knows what tomorrow will bring. For now, time to recuperate.

[aylen-san]

Continuing education

Elwing led Maglor to the seaside. The sea was calm, its waves gently lapping against the sandy shore, and the evening sun painted the water in golden and pink hues. A fresh sea breeze carried the scent of salt and seaweed. Here, amidst this grandeur of nature, she felt closer to her roots and the wonders she had once experienced.

They stopped at the very edge of the water, and Elwing, holding Maglor’s hand, looked into his eyes. The damp sand beneath their feet was pleasantly cool, sticking to their bare feet and creating a sense of unity with nature.

— Over there on the distant shores, — she began, her voice troubled and profound, — I first experienced the wonder of transformation. This experience changed me forever, and I want to share it with you. But for this, you will need not only knowledge but also a strong will and a pure heart, — Elwing did not want to recall the events that led to the transformation.

Maglor listened intently, his eyes burning with curiosity and determination. He felt as if he were on the brink of a great discovery and was ready for it. Elwing allowed the past to fade into the background for now, focusing on the lesson. If he succeeded, he would be able to fly with Eonwë and spend even more time with him.

Elwing continued to speak about the magic of transformations, her voice soft yet penetrating. She explained how important it was to understand not only the physical form but also the inner essence of the bird he wished to become. Maglor absorbed every word, his mind working at full capacity, trying to remember all the details and nuances.

— You must not just imagine the form but also feel it, become it on a soul and mind level. To begin, close your eyes and imagine that you are a bird. This is a deep fusion with the nature of the being you wish to become. You must feel how the bird breathes, how its wings cut through the air, how its heart beats in its chest. Only then can you become one of them. — I will try, Lady Elwing!

She let go of his hand and took a step back, giving him space to concentrate. Maglor closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to connect with the nature around him. He listened to the sound of the waves rolling over the sand and imagined what it was like to be part of this vast sea.

Maglor closed his eyes and tried to picture the flight of a bird, recalling everything he had learned from observing birds. He felt the wind, heard the cries of seagulls, and smelled the salty sea. But nothing happened. He opened his eyes and sighed in disappointment.

— This is harder than I thought, — he said. Elwing smiled, but her smile was tinged with sadness.

— It does not come right away. You need time and patience. It’s late already, stay with me tonight; the shore can be treacherous at night. Maglor hesitated for a moment, during which a thick fog began to roll in along the path leading to the tower. For a moment, he thought he saw a figure vaguely resembling an elf. "Is it Ossë?" — flashed through his mind, but who it was Maglor did not know; it was probably just a trick of the fog. Eonwë had warned him to be cautious with the sea and had sternly advised him to avoid the sea Maiar.

It seemed he would indeed have to stay with Elwing. But now he was beginning to worry about why she had been so angry with him at first, and why — Maglor was afraid to ask.

He turned his gaze to Elwing, who was still watching him, her face once again taking on a serious expression. Maglor felt an indescribable tension between them related to his past, but he could not understand its source.

— Lady Elwing, — he began, gathering all his courage, — I feel that I caused you much pain in the past, though I do not remember it. It is hard for me to understand, but I want to know what exactly I did. Please, tell me so that I can atone for my sins.

Elwing sighed, her gaze softening but still filled with pain. She was silent for a long time before responding.

— You were one of those who attacked the Havens of Sirion and took my sons, Elrond and Elros, — she finally said, her voice trembling with suppressed emotion. — You were the cause of my pain and suffering. I lost my family and my home because of you and your brothers.

Maglor felt a chill run down his spine. He did not know what to say; his heart ached with pain and remorse. He had never known what exactly he had done, but now, hearing it, he understood why Elwing had been so angry with him.

— I do not remember this, — he said quietly, lowering his head. — But I sincerely apologize for everything I have done. I want to atone for my sins and help you as much as I can.

Elwing looked at him, her eyes filled with conflicting emotions. She saw before her not an enemy but a young elf seeking forgiveness and redemption and help in learning.

— It is not easy, Maglor, — she said more gently. — But if you truly wish to atone for your sins, you must be prepared for a long journey. Let’s start with lessons. Perhaps, in time, I will be able to forgive you.

Maglor nodded, understanding that it would not be easy. His eyes suddenly stung with self-reproach for his past, for the fact that Maglor felt not only that he was to blame but also that Elwing and someone else very important to him were involved. But above all, he was pierced by a longing for the two little half-elves, inexplicably dear to him, and resentment mixed with love for someone very high and red-haired.

Elwing noticed how Maglor’s face changed and shifted her focus from her own feelings. She saw in him not just an enemy, but an elf who also suffered from his past, even if he did not remember it fully. In this small elf, she saw not only guilt but also a sincere desire to make things right.

— Maglor, — she began softly, extending her hand to him, — I understand that this is not easy for you. We have both lost much in the past. But now we have a chance to start anew, — she said this more to herself than to him, wondering once again why Manwë had sent Fëanor’s son to her.

— Thank you, Lady Elwing, — he said, his voice trembling with emotion. — I am ready to learn and work on myself. I want my father to be proud of me.

Elwing stood with her head bowed and sighed heavily. Her eyes were shining with tears she had struggled to hold back. It was difficult for her to accept the thought that Fëanor's sons were not absolute monsters but had human qualities as well. Tormented by conflicting feelings, Elwing tried to understand what had led them to turn against their own kin.

It was easier for her to think of them as heartless servants of the enemy rather than acknowledge that the attack on the Havens of Sirion was not entirely their fault. Elwing was tormented by the thought that she should have ensured her sons' safety and sent them to Círdan or Gil-galad, declaring an evacuation. Perhaps she should have tried to negotiate with Maedhros and Maglor? Why did they attack and draw their swords against their own kin?

These questions had troubled her for many centuries and now resurfaced from the depths of her mind. But alas, she could no longer get answers — Maglor did not remember this episode of his past life, and Maedhros and Ambarussa were long gone.

— We will start with lessons, — she said, rising and smoothing the folds of her light dress, — and then see where this path leads us. Remember, you promised to learn not only transformation but also the culture of the Sindar.

Stealing Maglor directly from Elwing, as he had done with her sons, would likely be impossible. After all, this was Aman, the sacred land where rules and laws were much stricter. Here, surrounded by immortal elves and under the watchful eyes of the Valar, such actions would not go unnoticed. But convincing him to stay with her? Oh yes, she would try!

Elwing mentally calculated how best to approach this issue. A faint smile played on her lips as she imagined how she would subtly influence his decisions. Perhaps she would start with tales of her people’s traditions and history, showing him the beauty and wisdom he had never known. Her home was full of artifacts and relics, each with its own story to tell.

She might invite him to stroll through the quiet forests and shores of Aman, showing him the beauty of these places. Perhaps she would teach him to sing Sindarin songs. Their melodies and words would penetrate his soul, awakening something new within him, something he had never known. In the past, Maglor was renowned not only as a warrior but also as an outstanding bard.

Every action of his, every step, every glance, she would guide in the right direction. His trust in her would grow with each passing day, and soon he would begin to see her not just as his enemy but as a mentor, friend, and even family. He would start staying longer and longer, first for one night, then for several days, and eventually for weeks.

Elwing was confident that, over time, he would want to stay with her. He would realize that he had found something here that he could never find among the Noldor — true understanding, acceptance, and peace. And then she would know that her plan had succeeded. Wouldn’t it be the best revenge against the Noldor and even against Maglor himself, when he remembers the past, to make him a true Sindar and tame him, just as she had done with her sons?

[reluctanthurricane]

#24 for the end-of-year book meme, please!

Did you DNF anything? Why?

I sure did! I read a lot and I try not to make myself finish things if I could be reading a book I'd like more. I'm bad at it and I'm also bad at tracking but here are the ones I did track/can remember

Under a cut because apparently I have more than I realized

Queen of Sorrow, by Sarah Beth Durst -- I was enjoying this trilogy well enough. Like nothing ground breaking but I was having a good time. And I thought I knew where it was going! The premise of the world was that humans and these like, nature spirits shared the world and some female humans had the ability to control the nature spirits and each land has a queen that controls the nature spirits of the whole land and it was framed in a way that the nature spirits needed the human queen to control them and in the first book we find that some of the spirits are way smarter than the protagonist knew was possible, so I thought oh, I know where this is going, in the last book we're going to find out that this White Man's Burden style subjugation is actually bad, but then I picked it up and that didn't seem to be where it was going and I talked to some folks who read it and apparently that doesn't get addressed??? So that felt icky so I gave up on it.

Octavia's Brood, this is a short story collection that marries the themes of Octavia Butler's work with the imaginations of social justice activists, which is a cool concept! Except I read the first two stories and both of them were ... not good. I was told there was one really good story in there but I gave it back to the friend who lent it to me without reading it so that was on me, but yeah, not for me.

Nudge, I was reading this and then it seemed uh, internally inconsistent with its argument and then I remembered the executive level coworker who recommended it to me got fired and then If Books Could Kill did an episode on it while I was reading it and I was like "Okay, I don't need to finish this"

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making, by Catherynne M. Valente. I just wasn't vibing with it. It was good but idk, I think I read it too close to Seanan McGuire (writing as A. Deborah Baker) doing a very similar concept and I needed more space between them. I may pick it up again. some other time

Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett - oh my, okay. So. I know a lot of people adore this book, and I'm so happy for them and I wish I could be one of them. But the prose is excruciating and I say this as someone who loves flowery bullshit. I think my biggest problem with it is that it felt to me like it was supposed to read academic or even maybe bloviating academic, which makes sense! But instead it was overwrought in a way that did not match at all with Emily Wilde as a character. She is an old school anthropologist who is so focused on her work that she doesn't think to do anything to personalize her long-term-temporary home. This is her journal/field notes, I just cannot imagine her taking the time to describe the natural world around her in all that much detail, let alone describe the sky as a "cerulean canopy". If she were in the humanities, I'd be here for it, if she were especially extra as a person sure! But she is neither and I got mad about it.

Castles in Their Bones, by Laura Sebastian - Another book that I was having a perfectly fun time with, but I think I just didn't have patience for YA at the time and then my library loan lapsed and I didn't put any effort into getting it back.

The Terraformers, by Annalee Newitz. I am planning on picking this one up again! I have it on my list of books I am going to prioritize this year! But somehow again! Timing has conspired against me with finishing one of their books! This is the fourth time!!! I have started one of their books and through no fault of the book!!! I have failed to finish it!!!! :( I am going to break the pattern this year!!!!

How to Keep House While Drowning, by K C Davis. Listen I know this book helps a lot of people. It wasn't for me.

Stiff, by Mary Roach - loan lapsed, I'll pick it up again at some point maybe but I don't have any real plans to do so in the immediate future.

The School for Good Mothers, by Jessamine Chan. I heard good things about this book and I get why! But I am not like, invested in stories about parenthood, and the first bit of the book that I did read was rough (in a like, intentional way that was impressive from a craft perspective) and I wasn't able to get past that part.

Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone, by Benjamin Stevenson. I found this book boring, and I think that is entirely my fault. I am not a mystery reader and I got the vibe that this book was in conversation with the genre in a way that I just wasn't going to appreciate because I was missing all of it! I may pick it up again if I ever become more well versed in the genre or maybe I will try reading it with my ears some time.

The Soul of an Octopus, by Sy Montgomery - Montgomery started out the book framing how cool octopodes are through her own experience that was just so obnoxiously saccharine that, I, a person who already thinks cephalopods are cool as heck was rolling my eyes right out of my head. Another example of a book that's probably fine but just not for me

The Last Heir to Blackwood Library, by Hester Fox. I don't remember this book at all, it just had a cool concept and I felt like it kept falling short of how good it should have been.

Tesla, by Richard Munson - I would love to read a biography of Tesla but somehow all the ones I haven't really vibed with any of them. I mean I think biographies of dead genius men are frequently written in a way that is obnoxious. This one was the best of them so far but also my loan lapsed and I have not found my way to caring enough to check it out again.

And finally this is the year I discovered that most romance novels work for me for about 80-90% of the book but once we get to the third act breakup (annoying) or the resolution (even worse), I frequently cannot bring myself to care. And like, I read and finished romance novels I like! But I read 80-90% of probably half or slightly more of the romance novels I picked up. I do think this has to do with me being on the aromantic spectrum. I like romance, I just think that when we start to see the priorities of our protagonists change, the book loses me a little. And I think that's yet another example of not all art being for all people and that being okay.

[justagalwhowrites]

No pressure if you don’t want to share, but I’m so curious what you do for a living and/or what your educational background is. I’m so impressed with your storytelling skills that I feel like it cannot be accidental. I have a fair amount of experience as a reader/writer (though not professional) and have a college level writing/English degree and again I’m just so impressed. I wish I had the patience like some to bullet out specifics within a chapter but it’s like moment to moment you just don’t miss.

The exchange with Tommy and Joel in this chapter was superb. The way you write sometimes there isn’t much explanation needed, you do a beautiful job of showing vs telling. You let details unfold in such a subtle but very intentional way. I never feel like, “Oh, here’s the exposition”.

Beskar Doll and Lavender have been two of my absolute favorites and truthfully the initial plot around Yearling didn’t interest me but I trusted you based on the others. It’s becoming my favorite of the three. Like I don’t even care if it gets smutty (and… I usually want that), the story and character development are enough.

Anyway none of this to say skip the smut 😂 But please you how talented you are, especially considering your writing speed. You’re cranking shit out fast and nothing ever feels rushed or unintentional❤️

OMG Hi Bestie!

I totally don't mind sharing! I work in communications now (I write a lot of emails and blog posts, the occasional journal article, etc.) but I was a journalist for a decade before I sold my soul to the PR gods. I have a degree in journalism so my background is definitely all writing! And I have always done creative writing for fun. My mom went through boxes of my elementary school stuff like a year or two ago and found a little novella I wrote when I was like seven lol. I started writing my first novel (it's very bad though I did finish it) when I was 11 and writing novels has been my primary hobby ever since, really. When I got into fan fic earlier this year, I just kind of picked up what I do in novel planning and whatnot and plopped it into the fic space. It means so much that you think it's high quality work! I'm so glad you've enjoyed it!

And OMG this is so exciting about Yearling lol. Yearling has made me so nervous from the start? It was a story I really wanted to tell - trauma, recovery, finding home and family, forgiveness, growth - but it was the first fic I started writing that I thought people might be reading from the beginning and I didn't want to disappoint anyone. Every other fic I started writing thinking no one would read it so the stakes were INCREDIBLY low lol it was just for me! It's a little different now because so many kind, wonderful people have read these stories. Yearling is obviously a slow burn, which I know isn't what people always go for, and there's a LOT of plot - again, not always what draws people into fic! - so I'm thrilled that people have connected with it. I'm extra happy that you're a convert to it!! That made my day, for real!

Don't worry, smut is coming soon in Yearling lol! Smut is never the point in my fics, more just sprinkled in for spice (not that there's anything wrong with PWP!! I love that! I'm just AWFUL at writing it) but I love having it. I may not be as explicit when I write books but I find stories for and about adults unrealistic if it doesn't include sex or romance as some kind of driver (unless the characters are aro/ace) so it's a safe bet you'll find smut in my work! Also love that you think I'm writing fast lol I feel like I'm going so slow compared to Lavender but I really needed to have better balance between life and fic writing this time. While it's not written yet, I do have the whole fic story mapped so there's a plan for every major plot point. It's definitely intentional! I hope it keeps coming off that way and that you keep enjoying it!

Thank you so so so much for reaching out and for spending your time reading these fics. I loved reading your thoughts!! Love you!!

[touchmygames]

Designville Dreams: Merging My Way Into the Perfect Life (and Maybe a Hot Handyman Too)

Oh hello, sweet gamer soul. It's Nova again, the slightly flirty, occasionally romantic, always sassy voice behind Touch My Games. And today… I’m diving heels-first into the glittery, chaotic, home-reno-licious world of Designville: Merge & Design — a merge game where you don’t just fix up broken houses... you fix your heart too. 💘 Or at least, you try.

So buckle up, cupcake. This is not just any merge puzzle. This is a ride through renovation, mild obsession, dreamy designers, and way too many cups of virtual coffee. ☕🛠️ Let’s merge!

💖 First Impressions: This Town is a Mess (Just Like Me)

You know those mornings where your life feels like a jumbled junk drawer? That’s exactly how Designville begins. You arrive in a small town full of potential — and literal garbage. I'm talking cracked vases, broken furniture, tangled hoses, and probably some questionable wallpaper from the 80s that screams, "I’ve seen things."

Enter merge puzzle magic: You, as the multitasking queen (or king or monarch of taste), start merging everyday items to fix up this town and bring it back to aesthetic glory.

You merge scissors and tape? Boom. You get fancy packaging. You merge paint buckets? Boom. Instant color therapy. You merge broken dreams and a sexy contractor named Oliver? Well... maybe that last one’s just wishful thinking. 😘

🧩 Gameplay: Merge, Merge, Merge… and Repeat

The gameplay loop in Designville: Merge & Design is classic merge game goodness with an addictive twist. You drag and drop identical items together on a grid, and each successful merge unlocks higher-tier tools or decor items.

The merging itself is buttery smooth — ASMR for your fingertips. 🔄��� The game rewards patience, strategy, and just the right amount of mindless fun. I found myself muttering things like “If I get one more level 3 mop I swear—” and then suddenly rejoicing when I finally merged it into a deluxe vacuum.

Trust me, I’ve never been this emotionally invested in cleaning equipment.

And the satisfaction of creating a new room from scratch? Chef’s kiss. Whether it’s a cozy reading nook, a gourmet kitchen, or a glam boho bedroom, every renovation feels like you're making a Pinterest board come true.

😍 Characters: The Real Reason I'm Still Playing

Listen, I’m not saying I play merge games to flirt with fictional people, but I’m also not saying I don’t. Meet Oliver — your hunky contractor with a troubled past, smoldering gaze, and arms strong enough to carry furniture and my heart.

Then there’s Isabella, your posh design guru with an attitude sharper than fabric shears. She’s fabulous, a little terrifying, and kind of reminds me of my ex… if my ex had better taste in throw pillows.

Each character has a backstory that slowly unfolds through dialogue and mini cutscenes. There’s banter, there’s drama, there’s chemistry. It’s like HGTV had a baby with a rom-com and raised it in a merge puzzle playground. 💞

I’m not saying I blushed when Oliver said “You’ve got a great eye for detail,” but let’s just say I replayed that scene. Twice. Okay, four times.

🏠 The Art and Aesthetic: Home Goals

The visuals in Designville are seriously dreamy. Think bold color palettes, stylish interiors, and decor that would make an Instagram influencer weep with envy.

The game nails that sweet spot between cozy and chic — and I found myself actually taking screenshots of finished rooms. Like, for inspiration for my real apartment. Is that embarrassing? Absolutely. Do I care? Not even a little.

Each new area you unlock comes with unique themes — rustic farmhouses, sleek penthouses, beach cottages… it’s a merge game that never gets visually stale.

Also, the animations? Adorable. The sparkle that pops up when you finish a task gave me more joy than my last three dates combined.

🔥 What I Love (Besides Oliver’s Toolbelt)

Let’s talk real quick about what makes Designville stand out in a sea of merge puzzles:

It respects your time. You can play in short bursts or binge like I did at 2 AM, wine glass in hand, wondering if wallpaper could ever truly fix a broken heart.

It’s genuinely rewarding. Completing each project unlocks new furniture and progress in the story, and each merge gives that mini dopamine rush I crave.

It’s flirty without being over-the-top. There’s romantic undertones, sure, but the real relationship you build… is with yourself. And maybe with your taste in mid-century modern sofas.

💔 What Needs a Little Design Help

Okay okay, I’ll admit — it’s not all hearts and hardwood floors.

The energy system can be a little frustrating. You only get so much at a time, and once you’re out, you either wait… or pay. And honey, I don’t pay for play (unless it's dinner and a movie first 🍷).

Also, sometimes you need specific merge items to continue a quest, and RNGesus just does not want to cooperate. I once needed a Level 4 trowel and ended up with 8 pairs of gardening gloves and a mild existential crisis.

But hey — that’s just how merge games work. You suffer for beauty.

🛋️ My Designville Fantasy (Don’t Judge Me)

Okay so hear me out: I’m wearing a silky robe. There’s soft jazz playing. I just finished merging enough buckets to restore a luxurious spa room. Oliver walks in, holding a tray of herbal tea and says—

“Great job on the lighting arrangement, Nova. Also, I couldn’t help but notice… your grout work is impeccable.”

🔄 Why I Keep Coming Back

Designville: Merge & Design scratches so many itches:

The “I want to clean and control things” itch

The “I want to flirt with hot construction workers” itch

The “I want to build the dream home I can’t afford in real life” itch

The “I need to merge these candles or I’ll lose my mind” itch

It’s a merge puzzle that wraps your gamer brain in soft blankets, hands you a latte, and says “Let’s make this place pretty.”

And honestly? That’s exactly what I needed.

💋 Final Words from Your Girl Nova

If you’re into merge games, puzzle games, or just want a relaxing, slightly romantic escape from your chaotic life — Designville is your town. Your mess. Your magical little construction site of joy and maybe even love.

So go ahead. Merge that mop. Design that dream bathroom. Flirt with that fictional man who knows how to hang drywall. You deserve it.

Until next time, darling… may your merges be perfect and your wallpaper never peel. 💖

[wevulcan90]

It has been awhile ...

My last post was 3 years ago. It has been rough and that's the nicest way to put it.

A lot has happened since 2019, I quit school and pursued working full time instead of part time, I was on-off while working did not have the patience at all (Customer service gets to you), at that time I learned a lot, then COVID hit and then was jobless at that time for roughly 6 months and between those months my grandmother died. From there it just sucked, we were back to work however limited but this time I was working with a different company, met people, grew as a person, actually liked worked, and then was promoted into a position early 2022. My girlfriend also was going to study abroad in the same year which sucked. While working in a position, it was hard. It was hard to work in a position, making decisions that could affect people and their livelihood, fighting off out clients, trying to raise morale, and caring for them. It grew me as person but at the same time it was miserable. There's the constant thought people have it out for you, people will hate you, your friends when you were on their same level will treat you differently, and people even higher will have your head if you f**k things up.

It was dark and I had to get away from made even worse that you also have your own personal problems. My own family feels like I'm just another piggy bank (some of them), long distance is really hard but making it work, and health issues. The same year I thought I had a stroke after one my colleagues noticed my right face is drooping, eyes are not blinking the same time and as well as my taste not working properly working. I thought I was tired and after checking with the company doctor I could have a mini stroke while I was asleep and was sent to the hospital for proper check-up and tests. It turns-out I had Bell's Palsy, possibly because of the stress or due to a viral infections.

After all that happened I decided to just change things. I wanted to resign.

This year I had resigned. Now working on a way to get to Canada as well as a student same route as my girlfriend. It has been rough financially and emotionally. I just wish I can push through it.

There's a lot to tell but I don't think it would be appropriate (specially the details in between these stories).

The reason why I'm venting this all-out is because this platform is small and it's not as toxic, and I remembered I actually had fun here. I don't like doing diaries they get lost and I don't like putting notes and saving in the cloud I want to share this with some people, the reason I dunno? It could be I just want to see this for their context, possibly to just vent, all of them or possibly because f**k it.

There has been a meme going on for awhile that after COVID it just the world went downhill, I'm inclined that's true since reading everything I wrote it would be the same for me as well but I am thinking it is my decisions. Whatever the case COVID or not it would still be the same I would be in the same place because I suck at making decisions but I do hope whatever decision I make it would be done right in the end ... It would matter. No matter how much it f**king sucks right now it was worth it.

I might post again, depending and I hope I get to see this again and whoever reading this thank you.

[woodys-surf-shack]

Surf Log 013

Date: Mon 7th August 2023

Location: The Wave, Bristol

Waves: 3+ ft (Waikiki)

Journal: I finally made it to The Wave! I've wanted to visit for months now, but couldn't decide on a date or which wave level would be best for me. In the end I went for a Waikiki lesson and session, which is the next stage up after Beginner and the stage before Intermediate. I was tempted to try Intm. but I'm glad I didn't as this was the perfect level to ease into things.

After a 2+ hour drive, I had my lesson at 13:30, and the instructors (Ryan and Hannah, I think their names were) were as friendly and knowledgable as you'd hope. Especially Ryan, who gave off big bro vibes haha. I started out on an 8ft softtop board. I was in an average size group with about 6/7 others, and I got some very helpful feedback on my pop up technique and some tips on how to turn better before heading into the water.

The fresh water was beautiful and a nice temperature, a big difference from the cold salty sea that I'm used to. I ended up going first, and to my surprise I did pretty well. I think I caught every wave I went for, except maybe one or two. I focussed on details such as positioning and paddling before the wave gets you, getting my hands lower down before my pop up, placing my back foot properly, bending my knees and not my back, and most importantly: keeping my eyeline straight forward.

After this I dried off and had some lunch, before exploring the facility a bit more. It's really impressive and has a relaxed atmosphere, even though it's busy. The food options were great, their surf shop has some cool stuff, and the surrounding area is lovely (the 1 mile walk from the car park is surrounded by lush green fields full of cows, sheep and solar panels).

19:00 rolled around and it was time for my unguided session. This time i went for a slightly smaller 7.6ft softtop board. I got chatting with a lot more of my fellow surfers on this occasion, and it felt good to have nice little talks with everyone while we were waiting our turn. Once again I focussed on perfecting my pop up and riding the wave for as long as I could. But most of all I tried to just enjoy myself and have fun. There was a couple of waves that went really nicely, and left me wishing for a bigger wave and/or a faster board. But I need to nail my turning before I can do that.

I'm realising I'm a bit obsessed with the adrenaline rush of surfing, and perhaps need to work on my patience and technique if I want to make meaningful progress.

Learnings: Hold my hands more centred and lower down towards my stomach when popping up.

Keep your chin up and eyeline forward from the moment you start paddling through to standing up. Where you look is where you go! Try reading subtitles on the TV when practising pop ups at home in your living room to perfect this.

After raising your shoulders/torso, the second step is to have your back foot go onto the ball of your foot. Then as you place the whole foot down, that's when your front foot should come up.

Keep your spine straight so you don't bend over and fall off. Instead, bend your knees down to the board.

Hold your hands up and gently glide them right to turn.