#wish i had the patience for this level of detail again

[within-your-eyes-if]

April 1st Progress Update

Hello everyone!

First, this update isn't an April's Fools joke, as much as I wish it were. Secondly, maintaining a level of transparency is important to me. It lets you all understand where I'm at and what to expect. With that, I apologize there was no March update.

In my last update, I hinted at some hardships in my life, and things were looking better. Unfortunately, sometimes life tends to kick you down when you're trying to get back up, and that's what happened not long after that update. This time, however, it took a heavy toll. I really tried, but I could not get back up on my own this time.

I had to step away for the most part and work on healing. I'm genuinely starting to feel better now, with each day being a little clearer and brighter than the last. Writing is slowly becoming easier again, which is a huge relief. It's strange how little time has passed, yet it feels years away.

As I believe I've stated before, I have no intentions of abandoning my story; this still rings true. There's just a regret I lost the momentum I gained.

Progress hasn't been at a complete standstill, and I'm still slowly working on drafts. It's hard to explain without delving into personal details — know I'm trying my hardest. I'm unsure what the word count is at the time of writing this, as I'm still going over and refining it. However, I have finished a few more scenes and I'm nearing the finish line.

Lastly, I'm sorry I disabled the asks. There are quite a few I need to catch up on, but answering was, and has always been, hard for me. I'll probably put together a FAQ post in the next few days (as well as finish a certain post I've been neglecting). Anyway, I hope to enable asks again in the near future.

Thank you all once again for your incredible patience. I'm sorry if this update isn't what you hoped for. Regardless, I hope Part Two is well worth the wait!

[tinydefector]

Hooray!!! Omg i’m so happy lol. I’m definitely going to be smiling for the rest of my day. I finally had time to think about it and how about a platonic familial scenario with mtmte magnus and the ambassador on break and casually chatting, fluff please. let me know if you need more details, and take your time <3

(i’ve been having data problems so hopefully this ask sends through 😅)

Out of the bag - human effects

I had so much fun writing this Buddee and I hope you like it!.

Word count 1.6k

Ultra Magnus x human reader

Fic Masterlist

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The ambassador sat quietly working through files while on the desk, fingers pinching their temple as they re-read the text. A hot drink beside them as they worked. Ultra Magnus sat at the desk as he too worked. It would have been rather funny to look at, A large alien robot sitting at his desk working while his co-worker who was much smaller sat on the same desk on their own seat with a desk. They looked almost like they were a toy figure. 

They take a sip of their drink and roll their shoulders slightly. "Please tell me I don't have to fix another 15 files of Rodimus getting side tracked again and typing out random words like Chinchilla?" They mumble almost like a pray.

Ultra Magnus cycled a weary ex-vent, field rippling with long-suffering patience. "I'm afraid so, Ambassador. The captain seems...incapable of submitting forms in any semblance of proper order." He pinched the bridge of his olfactory sensor, nearly the same pose as them. an unmistakably human mannerism picked up from long acquaintance. "At this rate, reconciling his haphazard paperwork will occupy the majority of your work cycle."

Magnus observed the ambassador's flagging energy levels with mild concern. "Perhaps you should take a brief respite. Overexerting yourself serves no purpose - I can handle the captain's responsibilities for the time being."

His tone, while stern, held an undercurrent of genuine care. Despite their differences, he cared deeply for the ambassador; their well-being remained in everyone's best interests. 

"The schedules can wait. I suspect you've had enough excitement for one orn already." A hint of dryly amused. "I'll be alright Magnus, Just got a headache and sore. Really wasn't planning on dealing with reports, but it beats having to do holovids with Prowl, I want to strangle that mech some times." They reply leaning back in their seat, bringing their drink up and holding it in their hands as they close their eyes for a moment.

Prowl's combative nature makes diplomatic discourse a...trial, to say the least." He cycled another heavy ex-vent. "Though I must say, your own entanglements have proven equally...taxing, of late." Magnus leveled them with a pointed look, with a hint of mild disapproval.

"I trust you understand the risks involved, consorting so closely with the crew. Propriety and protocol exist for good reason - to maintain order and prevent compromising our mission." 

Yet beneath the stern admonishment, a thread of genuine concern shone through. "I only caution you to tread carefully, little one. The games played aboard this ship can be...treacherous, for those caught unawares."

His gaze softened marginally. "I would not see you come to harm, simply for wishing to find companionship in these trying times. Despite what you and others may think i do care about you" 

Embarrassment slowly works its way into their system as they look down as if they were a child who just got caught stealing something. "How.. how did you" they start not knowing how to continue talking. "Come now, Ambassador - did you truly think your...activities would escape my notice?" Magnus replied, a hint of wryness in tone.

He shook his helm slightly. "I may be strict, but I'm not blind. The signs were...quite evident.” Leaning back in his chair, Magnus fixed the ambassador with a measured look. "I'll not lecture you on proper conduct - Primus knows life aboard this ship is complicated enough as it is." Attempting to soothe their clear discomfort. "However, I must urge caution. Entanglements with subordinates."

They continue to look down for a moment processing his words. "I know, I wasn't planning on getting involved with anyone, it just sort of happened. Told Ratchet that it was to stay on the down low, and Ratchet had the same concern about risk, he wanted to make sure if something did happen with other bots outside of him and Drift that i had someone to trust if something happened. I was just worried that if you, Rodimus or Megatron found out. My job was gone" they mumble, they were filled with so much anxiety and panic over the situation only for the mech they feared the most about it to just say he knew. 

Magnus cycled a heavy vent. "I see. That...explains certain observations, I must admit." He rubbed a servo over his faceplate. "Ratchet and Drift, of all mechs. I confess, I had not anticipated that particular entanglement."

Fixing the ambassador with a level stare, Magnus continued, "However, you needn't fear repercussions from myself or the others." A hint of wryness entered his tone. " We've all been there, at one point or another." 

They let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you Magnus, and I'm making sure to look after myself. Woah just wasn't expecting to be having this conversation with you is all. You have no idea how much fear I had about you finding out about my um.. 'activities'. You bots aren't exactly subtle about your 'human fucker' content  " they state before slowly having another mouthful of their drink.

He nodded in acknowledgement. "I understand your concern. confess, even I am not entirely immune to the temptations that arise. However, I endeavor to maintain strict protocols."  Magnus continued solemnly, "I cannot - and will not - control the personal affairs of my crew. That is a burden I do not wish to bear."

A hint of wryness entered his tone. "Though I must admit, the antics of Megatron and Rodimus have certainly tested my patience on more than one occasion. They are both very fond of you"

“I had a feeling they were. Magnus you being tempted, now that's new to me, I'm sorry they are causing you trouble” they chuckle, smiling up at him, enjoying the banter.  

"Ratchet and Drift both know I'm not interested in a relationship, it's mainly just stress relief, and i think Sunstreaker just has a bjt of a kink for someone who isn't going to scratch his paint" they confirm, making him aware of yet another bot involved. Magnus's optics widened fractionally at the mention of Sunstreaker - another unexpected development in this tangled web. "I see. So Sunstreaker as well, hmm?"

”It would appear you...ambassador has been quite diligent in cultivating a support network aboard this ship." Fixing the human with a measured look, Magnus continued, "And you are certain this...arrangement suits you? Entanglements with the crew, regardless of intent, can prove...complicated."

The nod. “Yes, I'm content and want to keep this on the down low, I don't need it getting back to my superiors on earth, nor do I need Prowl making issues of it.” They explain. In truth they were very happy with the arrangement, and felt less guilty now that they were talking with Ultra Magnus over the situation. 

"I merely wish to ensure you are not inadvertently placing yourself in jeopardy, little one." Magnus paused, considering his next words carefully. "However, if this provides you the stress relief you require, then I shall refrain from further commentary." A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Though I must admit, I'm somewhat impressed by your...resilience, in the face of such formidable suitors."

It makes their face fluster as they look away from him quickly. “That's not funny and you know it” they huff under their breath only for him to let out a soft rumbled noise. Shaking his helm ruefully, the Autobot commander returned his attention to the ever-present datapads. "Very well. You have my discretion and, should you need, my counsel as well."

"They have all been good to me, very respectful and accommodating. They mainly have been dead quiet about involvement because of you actually." They hum. "Well technically you, Megatron and Rodimus. You three I do look up to alot, and your opinion means alot to me. I was just worried you would have me court martialled and shipped back to earth for fraternization "

Magnus's field rippled with a mix of surprise and begrudging respect. "I see." 

"While I cannot condone such...personal entanglements, I confess I am impressed by your discretion thus far. It speaks to a level of maturity and pragmatism I had not anticipated." Magnus met their gaze steadily. "You have proven yourself a valuable asset to this ship. I would not see that jeopardized, simply due to youthful indiscretions." 

With that now out of the way they sit there quietly before looking up at ultra Magnus from their spot sitting on the desk. "Could I have a hug, at the moment I can feel myself shaking from the fear and anxiety " they try to joke and make light of how afraid they were of him finding out. 

Magnus regarded the ambassador with a soft expression, field pulsing understanding. "Of course." He gently scooped them up, cradling their small frame against his chest in a rare display of tenderness. "There is no need to fear, Ambassador." His deep voice rumbled with reassurance as he lightly stroked their back.

They lean their head against his plating, relaxing against him.  "Thank you, you're a real one Magnus. No one will ever change that" Magnus rumbled softly, the vibration soothing against the ambassador's frame. "You are most welcome. I am merely doing what I believe is right."

He gently adjusted his hold, ensuring their comfort as they leaned into him. A rare, small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "You have earned my trust, Ambassador. That is no small feat."

With that, Magnus simply held the ambassador, allowing them the chance to find solace in the steadiness of his frame. And in truth he rather enjoyed holding them close. 

_______________

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[shikariiin]

Hello! I adore your art, and I was wondering if I could ask you a question:

How do you come up with your designs? They are so pretty, especially Eddie and James ♡♡

I'm asking this because I'm having trouble creating designs for both Gordon and James for my AU, Hope.

Thank you for seeing this, I wish you a splendid day/night! :3

Why hello!!!

Oh gee I would ramble alot in this

Before I make a design, I like to list things that I like about them, their hcs, their ethnicity, and their primary colors

For example, Edward's primary color is blue, but he as a character is a kind and soft soul, in my hc his patience thins faster in adults, so a combination of white and red is a great indicator of this, The red being on his Tie and hair tie so it doesn't overpower the other colors.

My James is the one that's a little complicated, mainly because he's more based on his ethnicity, but him being a vainy, self-centered and show-offy means he likes to stand out, he likes being in the center of attention, so gold is the next best option, but for my James because he have aspects of him that is more cozy (he likes cooking, making clothes and learning languages), earthy Brown is used to support the bright red, that also helps with tuning down his personality a bit.

And next, are Shapes!

Again, their personality plays a big part, in Designing it's a factor that you would want to show your character's personality through their design, The three pillars of Round, Square, and Triangle Aspects plays a huge role.

If you see here, My Edward has a more fluffy, friendly look to it, with a hint of an old soul, and a fire that had died out, his design is rounded.

The same with my James, he has more edge, a sharper touch than Edward!

Appearance is also important, wether you go hand to hand by giving them buffers like a literal anthropomorphic trains, mecha, or more human etc, appearance is an indicator.

You might make them all have the same uniforms because they're a worker, but giving (for example) Gordon square glasses, then combining it with his basely square body type, can indicate he's a strict person, so on.

My James has alot in his design

Golden details in his clothing, Brown as a secondary color, darker red on his coat so that it doesn't clash with the main red in his outer, earrings and lip piercing indicating he loves accessories to support/show off his appearance, the moles I give him for that beauty marks, the Batik on his coat to represent his proudness of his home country, the coat that he make himself, he wears make up to touch up his appearance.

Alot can go on in a design, Mine is not God-Tier level designing, and I'm not an extremely experienced character designer, but these are the indicators I usually do whenever I make my designs.

In simple terms, list what you want to have in your engine design, and build it off from there, this is to prevent overcrowdedness.

And that's all! Thank you for the ask!

You don't have to follow it step by step, be as comfortable as you like, these are just factors and tips to help in designing🩵

Hope it helps!!!

[iamgodsoopsie]

Astarion Headcanons (that you probably won't like) Pt. 1:

Part 2 link

BG3 does an excellent job at depicting SA trauma and the beginning of the healing process/journey. Many of the headcanons I've seen floating around (intentionally or unintentionally) gloss over the uglier side of healing from (prolonged) trauma. I'm not judging anyone for magically healing him, he's fictional after all, but I'd like to make some more ...realistic... headcanons.

Disclaimer: Everyone's healing process looks different, but they tend share commonalities. These headcanons are based on my own experiences. Not everyone who is healing from their trauma will experience what I have or have experienced it like I have.

[Please don't message me with explicit details about your trauma. I am at the point in my healing journey where I can share my experiences, and commiserate with other's similar experiences, but I am unable to support others in a more personal manner at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your healing process/ journey.]

Spoiler warning

Mental illness, SA, & DV Trigger Warnings

These headcanons are based on an Astarion who is still a spawn and romantically involved with a Tav who honestly loves him and isn't abusive or manipulative. Also Cazador is dead and Astarion got to stab him. They also assume that he himself does not turn into Cazador 2.0 or Wish.com Cazador.

He needs a LOT of love and patience. Which, frankly, many people don't have.

He's messy af. If "Damn bitch, you live like this?" was a person it'd be him. C-PTSD is a hell of a drug. I think he wants to be more organized and clean than he is, it's just going to be a looong process for his inside appearance to match his outside appearance. (His appearance may stay mostly the same or drastically change).

---Don't believe me? Just look at the outside of his tent: it's mostly organized and sophisticated, but the inside is messy and he sleeps on a plank of wood with a threadbare stained blanket.

He'll struggle with control issues rooted in his anxiety until he finds a way to channel that energy in to something productive and/or healthy.

---He'll veer between controlling micromanager (aggressive) and door mat (people pleasing/ passive) until he finds his (assertive) middle ground.

Anger issues ahoy! He went through "200 years of shit. PURE SHIT!" and had to dissociate/repress his feelings to 'survive'.

---Stabbing Cazador was cathartic, but it only released the surface level of his repressed rage.

-----An interesting line from the game that I haven't seen enough people talk about: When you tell Astarion to keep his cool when Cazador is goading him, Cazador scoffs and sarcastically asks Tav if they've witnessed his "fits of rage". (Of course a "fit of rage" to Cazador is probably Astaion having a slight frown when Cazador wants him to smile and be a pretty toy to show off.)

He will try to push you away and 'test' you to see if you stay consistent in respecting him and his boundaries. He needs to make sure you don't turn into a Cazador when you two are in an argument. He needs to be sure that his "No" is respected when in a steamy moment after a dry spell.

---This probably won't be as intense as it otherwise would've been because of what you two went through together, but he'll still do it.

-----He probably doesn't realize what he's doing, and when he does he'll shame spiral.

I hope you are prepared to patiently give lots of reassurance and affirmation about the same things over and over again.

---It'll sometimes seem as though he is seeking permission, but if you ever act as though you are giving him permission instead of affirmation/ reassurance he will become very defensive.

He's indecisive but unwilling to listen to your input.

---He went from 200 years of having no control or ability to make his own decisions to suddenly being free, he's going to feel overwhelmed.

-----He'll eventually realize that you have his best interest at heart and that you are not telling him what to do, you're offering suggestions to help him make an informed decision.

There's so much more but I'm tired. He'll eventually heal and live a happy and healthy life, but it'll be a bumpy road to get there.

[daughterofcain-67]

𝐄𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 (pt. 6)

(Beau Arlen x Female Reader)

(masterlist)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Beau is working restlessly to get you back and it’s killing him that it’s already been several hours with no sign of you. Agent Sampson is doing his best to remind Beau to keep a level head so Beau could get you back sooner rather than later. Meanwhile, you are doing everything you can to persevere and think of a way put of your situation with the limited recourses you have- which is next to none.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: kidnapping, TW: implications of non-con (no graphic detail), mild violence, i think that’s it?

You knew that several hours had gone by since you were taken from your home. That meant today was the anniversary of your husband’s death. What a hell of a day to spend it, being kidnapped and potentially taken out of the country within a couple of days. You still had yet to formulate any plans of escape.

The worst part is that you knew if you didn’t get out of this mess, you’d likely never see Beau again. That and you had plans for a movie night with him that weekend. Plans that were gone with the wind by now if you weren’t able to escape.

You wondered if Beau had told Cadence yet. You wondered what exactly he told her. You wondered if she’d be able to handle the news, if she would be okay. You hoped that she wouldn’t worry too much or she would find some way to distract herself from what was going on. She was your little sister and you hated when she worried about you. To be frank, you hated when anyone worried about you. Obviously you couldn’t exactly blame anyone for worrying about you with the situation you’re in now.

You were leaned back against the wall of the basement and you looked down at your wrists. These handcuffs weren’t your biggest concern. If you were lucky you could wiggle your wrists out of them. Then again you’ve tried that for the first couple of hours and the skin on your wrists was already cut and scabbed. You’d handle your wrists again soon but for now you were trying to think of how to get the chain off your ankle.

A part of you was glad you were barefooted when they took you. You thought that pulling your foot out would be difficult with shoes and socks on. The other part of you wished you had some shoes though because you felt like your toes were freezing. It’s not like they had a heater in this particular basement.

“Come on, think. You’ve watched cop shows once in a while, and Beau’s talked about cases where captives have escaped before. You can do this.” You spoke to yourself. However, you didn’t exactly have bobby pins in your hair or paper clips so you could pull one of those moves like you’ve seen in the movies where people pick their way out of their shackles.

All you could really do at the moment was wait. Be patient, continue to wiggle your limbs until you were free but who knew how long that would take. And unfortunately, patience was not exactly your strong suit.

Suddenly you heard the door open and when you glanced up, you saw the King. Andre was there without his mask and he had a crown pin on the top left corner of his blazer jacket. He looked so different compared to the first day that the two of you met.

“What do you want.” You glared and Andre hummed a little.

“I just wanted to talk, Sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Andre sighed a little before he walked towards you. You wished you had some kind of superpower to just teleport out of here, or maybe even make yourself invisible. If you could shrink and disappear into the wall, you would. Anything to just avoid the man in front of you. Obviously you couldn’t do that though.

“Aren’t you in the wrong position to be giving demand’s like that?” He asked but then Andre looked down and saw how your wrists were starting to scab over and he tilted his head a little.

“I suppose its a good thing those cuffs aren’t any bigger.” The chuckle he let out made you feel sick to your stomach.

“What did you want to talk about so we can just get this bit over with.”

“Touchy touchy. I was just going to suggest that… maybe you can work for me personally. That way you don’t have to go out of the country soon and be sold off as a slave. You could be here although… you would have to give your business to me, and not have any contact with your little sheriff friend.” He said.

“There’s no way I’d give in to something like that. That business would go to Cadence before it could ever go to someone like you.”

“Cadence… you know, she would have made a good candidate too for this little operation. She’s such a sweetheart.”

“Shut up.” You seethed and he squatted down in front of you before he reached out, the next thing you knew he had your jaw in his hands and you could feel his fingertips keeping a firm hold of your face.

“If you were smart, you’d watch your tone with me.” He said and you spat in his face.

His eyes darkened as he let out low growl of disapproval, “You’ll pay for that. And you’ll pay dearly. So be a dear and keep quiet.”

Your eyes widened when he gripped at your shirt and tore the material….

Cadence took the news pretty hard, just like Beau knew that she would. It killed him to see the way her face fell when she found out her sister was taken. All he could really advise her to do was close up the cafe if she didn’t have anyone to keep it open for her if she needed time away.

Much to Beau’s surprise though, Cadence agreed to keep the cafe open and just keep working. Cadence said you would have wanted her to be strong for your sake. Although she did agree to take the first couple of days off just to see if you would come home and you would have someone to go home to.

After he met up with Cadence and took her home, Beau went right back to the office to find out if Hoyt or Poppernack have found anything, or even if Agent Sampson was making himself useful. He swore that if the FBI were going to drag their feet on this he may end up having to take care of everything himself, or get Cassie to help him out since she didn’t have the same rules as the FBI.

Once he pushed the doors open he saw that some other agents were there, no doubt a part of Harlen Sampson’s team.

“Pompernickle!” Beau called and looked around only to see a hand raised up.

“Right here, Boss!”

Beau walked over and stood behind the deputy at his desk, “Please tell me you’ve found something to get to Sampson.”

“Actually, the fingerprints we found over at Irene’s place did in fact match the ones that were at Y/N’s house. We just got the results from the database. Somebody was slacking here in Montana.” He said.

“And who’s that supposed to be?”

“Our guy Ace? He wasn’t the only one at you houses. There were two sets of prints. We found out that this Ace guy is related to your Andre fella. A cousin, actually. His name is Matvey, or simply Mat, Bolkonsky. Related on the paternal side.” Poppernack said just as Agent Sampson walked up.

“Another Bolkonsky, huh? He was born and raised Russian and he tried to move down here when Andre’s father started their so called jewelry company. Turns out he wasn’t really the best of the bunch and he was charged with drug dealing. He ended up getting a kid killed with those drugs about seven years ago. Naturally he was charged with second degree murder, unfortunately he got out for good behavior with parole. And we haven’t heard anything on him since, although he has been a suspect for other gang related activities and I don’t think murder and kidnapping is out of his range.” The agent said.

“So what does that mean? If he’s here and he’s with Andre, we can go over to Andre’s place and ask about aiding a suspect if he was the one that did kidnap Y/N right? Well what are we waiting for?” Beau said.

“Legitimate proof that Andre was there too. We’re waiting on the results for the second set of fingerprints. We also need to consider the idea that Andre may not have known about this.” Agent Sampson replied and Beau’s hands turned into fists.

“You’re kidding me, right? To me this sounds like enough to at least have an interview with the guy since you’re so intent on doing this by the book. We’ve gone on less even if this is circumstantial.” The sheriff reminded.

“If I may say something,” Poppernack chimed in, “If you do have that interview with him, there is a reason. He was the last known person to have seen Y/N after all so if we propose it as simply routine questions to cross him off the list as a suspect, he may be cooperative.”

“I’m on it.” Beau said and was about to walk past the desk.

“You aren’t going by yourself. Someone like you is going to go there and bite his head off and ruin everything. I’ll be going with you.” Agent Sampson said.

“No offense, Agent, but I’m pretty damn good at my job and I know what the hell I’m doing. I’ve been in this job long enough to know how to handle a situation like this. I’m not some damn rookie.”

“Fine, but I’m still going with you so it at least looks good on the papers. It is technically the FBI’s case still and we want these guys to go away for good. So try to keep that in mind while you’re trying to keep your cool.” He reminded as he walked out of the door.

Beau just glared at the agent. He knew Sampson was right about doing this by the book, but it still ticked him off. He wasn’t about to waste time on this. Sure he’ll do this by-the-book interview. But the moment things go south, Beau may need to make some plans to conduct an interview all on his own.

The sheriff went to his car and the agent ended up following him to the vehicle and they got in.

“Listen, I know you’re angry and I don’t know what kind of connection you have to the… captive.” Beau could hear the agent begin to speak, “I’ve been where you are with my wife before. It’s vital to keep your head on straight.”

“Thanks for the words of wisdom.” Beau rolled his eyes and started his car.

“I’m serious, Arlen. I lost control and nearly lost my wife for good because the perps almost got away with nothing but a slap on the wrist. That’s why we need to get this done right.”

The sheriff looked down at his steering wheel for a moment. Of course he could at least take the words into consideration, but he knew that you were too important to lose. And if this Bolkonsky business were to go south, being too slow with the law may get you lost just as fast as recklessness.

“Let’s just focus on getting Y/N back to her sister. Andre’s our first stop and hopefully we’ll come across another lead like surveillance of Mat participating in suspicious activity.”

Forty-six minutes…

That worst forty-six minutes of your life and you had counted every second if it just to keep from screaming. You didn’t know what Andre was capable of if you ignored his warning and tried to scream or make any sounds.

“Well… I don’t think the clients will mind slightly used goods. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a business to run.” Andre said as he pulled up his pants.

You couldn’t make direct eye contact with this man after what he had done. Your everything ached but you were glad it was finally over.

Andre was nothing but scum of the earth, and even after what happened… you were trying so hard to be strong. But after those forty-six minutes, you were beginning to wonder what the point of strength was if something like this could happen no matter how patient or optimistic a person tried to be.

Then you heard a phone ringing, of course it was Andre’s. When he answered you could see the slightly annoyed features on his face.

“Hello, Sheriff. How can I be of assistance?” He asked.

Your eyes widened.

Beau was on the phone. He was really looking for you! He was looking for you right? You weren’t imagining all of this?

You had to do something, now was your chance! Andre didn’t take your mouth up or anything so you had to do something. This could be your only shot!

“Beau! He has me in some basement! He could go after Cade-“ a harsh stinging erupted on your face from where Andre smacked you.

“Oh no, Sheriff. That’s just some movie I’m watching at a friends house. He has a weird and nearly concerning taste in film. I can come and meet you to talk about the date in just a few moments. Let’s say… Tonya and Donno’s place? I’ve heard they have some great sandwiches. My treat.” Andre said.

The charm that Andre tried to have made you cringe. How disgusting did this man have to be to think he could use charisma like that after what he just did. And how stupid did he think that Beau was?

“Uh huh… I see. My cousin? Oh I didn’t even know he was in town. I suppose great minds of the family think alike. We’ll discuss this more when we aren’t on the phone. If we talked about everything now we’d just be limited to small talk and that’s always awkward.” He laughed.

When the phone call was done, Andre turned and glared at you.

“You’re worried about your sister that much, huh? Well maybe we ought to give you something to worry about now that you may have ruined everything by screaming.” He promised.

Then he walked out of the basement door, locking you up once again.

Your mind started racing. You hoped to what’s god was out there that Beau really did hear you. But on the other hand, you were terrified for your sister’s safety. What if Andre really would send his crew to go after Cadence like they did to you?

You couldn’t have your baby sister go through the same thing you’ve endured. You refused to let that happen.

“Please, Beau… if you heard me at all, send someone to the house to keep Cadence safe.” You pleaded, even though you knew there was no one listening.

You felt something roll down your cheek and when you lifted your cuffed hands to your face, you felt tears. You didn’t realize you were crying and honestly you thought you were a little dehydrated to do that. You supposed you were wrong but maybe the moment Andre mentioned your sister put things a little more into perspective.

“I have to get out of here.” You vowed and looked at your scabbed wrists and started to try and wiggle out of them yet again but you had even more of a reason to escape, more of a reason to try.

Hey guys, I know this chapter was a bit more intense than the previous. But I hope you enjoyed so far. Thank you to those of you who have been commenting, reblogging and liking these chapters. I really appreciate it! Love you all!

Tag List:

@roseblue373 @deans-spinster-witch @chriszgirl92 @fanfic-n-tabulous

[wolveria]

The Raven’s Hymn - Ch 32

Pairing: SCP-049 x Reader

Series Warnings: Eventual smut, dubcon, slow burn, violence, horror, death, monsters, human experiments, dark with a happy ending

Chapter Summary: “What did you dream?”

AO3

You were led to another room not far, only further down the hall. This one had the typical layout of an interview room, and you were firmly placed into the metal chair with one restraint removed as the guard looped the chain through the small bar welded to the table.

The scientist, a man in his 50s with short-cropped grey hair, his face unfamiliar, didn’t sit at the other end, but instead consulted his tablet as he stood off to one side.

“What did you dream?” he asked without preface once your wrists were both shackled again. You the scientist with a scowl as you turned over the question in your head.

SCP-5964 was a coin forged in a time of bloodthirsty monarchs and civil war, except it had one unfortunate effect. Placing it under the pillow of a person would lead them to have a single, lucid nightmare. No matter how terrible or implausible the nightmare was, whatever happened in the dream would play out within 24 hours, leading to the person’s death. People have drowned in the middle of meetings, caught on fire swimming at the beach, or cannibalized while tilling a field.

You pressed your lips together to stop their trembling.

“I didn’t.”

The door opened.

“You’re lying.”

You sank in your chair. Site Director Leahy gave a nod to the other scientist, dismissing him before his eyes fixed on you. He sat in the empty chair that was your opposite, smoothing down his tie as he did so.

Your glare was unblinking.

“What did you see, Reid?”

“I didn’t see anything,” you repeated, inflection flat. “The SCP had no effect on me.”

Leahy gave you a look before glancing down at his tablet, scrolling through it until getting what he wanted. He then flipped it around for you to see, an image painting its surface in greens, reds, and yellows. It was similar to an infrared spectrum but with much more detail, able to monitor a subject’s hormone levels through the biometric lens of an advanced camera. One you hadn’t noticed in the room, but from its angle, you knew where it had been hidden: a ventilation grate.

The display showed you in a prone position, taken while you were asleep in that room, and showing heightened signs of brain activity and hormonal stress. You shrank in further on yourself as Leahy turned the tablet back around.

“Now you can see the lie for yourself. You gave all the indications of an intense dream. What was it?” When you held your tongue, he added, “We only have one more test, and it will be the last. For now.”

“Not going to threaten me some more?”

Your patience with the Site Director was at an all-time low. You were aching from interrupted sleep, chilled by cold sweat, and trying not to squirm from the discomfort of your damp undergarments.

He shrugged, leaning back in his chair.

“I can, if you wish. SCP-049 is being a little too willful these days. Perhaps a few minutes in a dark room with 173 will correct this newfound defiance.”

Despite his causal lean and the almost lazy drawl of his words, he wasn’t bluffing. Leahy clearly didn’t care about the policies against cross-testing with different SCPs, let alone punishing them.

You stared down at your hands, curled against the table and rendered harmless by unnecessary shackles. You didn’t know what to say. Because the SCP had reacted to you in an anomalous way, but unless you were going to die by 049’s cock in the next 24 hours, its effect was different.

A bubble of hysterical laughter lodged in your throat. You covered your mouth, but a choked noise still escaped.

“You’re not going to be sick, are you?” Leahy frowned. “If so, point it away from me.”

You coughed into your hand and swallowed down the giggle fit before it could start. This was beyond fucked, there was nothing funny about it, and yet the deranged imperative to laugh still remained.

“No, no… I’m fine.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“Maybe I’ll stick you both with 173 and see who it favors more.”

“No!”

Your chains clinked as your back went stiff, and Leahy’s smirk told you he got the reaction he wanted.

Bastard.

Closing your eyes, you took a breath and forced yourself to think. You had to give Leahy something, and it damn well wasn’t going to be the truth. A believable lie was what you needed, but you’d never been particularly good at those, especially elaborate ones.

Maybe it didn’t need to be elaborate. Maybe it just needed to be incredulous enough to buy.

Maybe, you needed another liar.

You opened your eyes and let your shoulders sag just enough to indicate surrender.

“There was a containment breach.”

Now it was Leahy’s turn to sit up, his posture straight as he leaned against the table.

“In the nightmare?”

You nodded slowly, as if recalling the details against your will.

“It was… bad.”

“Who started it?”

“I don’t know.”

“How many casualties?”

“I don’t know.”

“Where does the breach happen?!”

“I don’t know!” you snapped back. “I just remember fleeing to a garage. There were Foundation vehicles, and we took one. To escape into the forest.”

“We?”

Leahy took the bait, but you hesitated. It wasn’t for show.

“Someone was… with me. An SCP.”

“Go on.”

Pressing your lips together, you shifted uncomfortably in your chair.

“I think he started the breach. He came for me, and we left together.”

“Who, Reid,” Leahy growled. “Give me a designation.”

You prayed for forgiveness. Even this SCP didn’t deserve the Site Director’s cruel attention.

“SCP-035.”

Leahy glared at you for a long moment in which you didn’t look away, not until you dropped your eyes, shame forcing you to hide. An emotion that was uncomfortably truthful.

The Site Director stood, not speaking to you again as he nodded to the guard and left the room. The two guards unlatched you from the table and led you to a place you’d been hoping to see: a heavy containment cell with thick doors and no way of escape. Leahy had bought your story, and you were on lockdown for the next 24 hours.

There was nowhere for you to rest, but you were delivered meals and clean clothes through an automated delivery system in the wall. It could have been worse, at least you were left alone and there was a rudimentary shower in one corner. But 24 hours was a long time in solitary, and your mind wandered back to a place it didn’t want to go.

The dream had been so real. Too real. Every detail was accurate, down to 049’s smell and the unique texture of his robes. You’d had no idea it was a dream, only an impending sense of it ending soon, perhaps your subconscious mind knowing it was inevitable to wake up. Your urgency for 049 to finish what you both had started had been all-consuming, and even now there was an echo, an emptiness left unfulfilled. Overt sexual desire wasn’t something you were prone to, but the dream version of yourself had had no compunctions about getting thoroughly fucked by 049 as quick as possible.

You buried your face in your hands and tried to think about anything but the dream, and like a lingering bad odor, 035 crept into your thoughts instead. Specifically, his words regarding 049—how old the SCP was, and that no one but you had touched him before. How the loneliness must affect him after centuries of solitude, even when surrounded by his disciples. You could imagine it all too well, the way 049 would keep them at a proper, polite distance. Hadn’t he tried the same with you?

It was difficult to know how much of it was truth, and how much of it was 035’s usual embellishment and love of a compelling story. It made sense that he would paint 049 as a tragic, romantic figure. It also didn’t mean he was wrong.

And then there was 035. You shouldn’t sympathize with such a dangerous anomaly, and yet, you hoped he wouldn’t face harsh consequences for your lie. Leahy was ambitious, but he wouldn’t be able to destroy the mask. The Foundation had tried many times, almost as many times as they’d tried to kill 682—who, apparently, might not be as dead as once thought.

And that same Foundation had known you were anomalous from the start according to 035. You didn’t know how it was possible, surely there would have been signs, and they wouldn’t have given you so much freedom with the SCPs. How much did Dr. Puli know? How much did Leahy?

049, 682, your own history. How reliable was this information with 035 as the storyteller? Unreliable narrator didn’t begin to cover it.

The one good thing about being isolated was it gave you plenty of time to sort out the last few days in your head, but by the end, you were ready to claw at the walls. Even seeing Leahy’s face when he entered your cell the next morning was nearly a welcome sight.

His satisfied smirk didn’t bode well, and neither did the guards at his side.

“Seeing as there were no containment breaches, it’s safe to assume the coin does not show you something that will inevitably happen.”

He moved closer and crouched, now eye level with you where you sat leaning against the wall.

“It shows you something that will never happen.”

The urge to give the Site Director a good punch while you had the chance fell away, the dream springing up in its place. An impossible dream, one that 24 hours had proved wouldn’t take place.

You looked away, hating that the disappointment on your face would sell the lie, hating even more that it wasn’t a lie at all.

“Get her up.”

Leahy moved out of your space, replaced by two guards who hauled you to your feet and secured the manacles around your wrists. They were beginning to chaff and bruise, but you didn’t resist as they led you to a freight elevator at the end of Heavy Containment.

Only when you got inside and Leahy inserted his keycard and put in a code did you pay attention, especially when he didn’t enter a floor number.

The elevator shuddered and began its descent, its movements utilitarian and not smooth as the lab elevators were. It kept going for a minute, then two, far past any floor that should exist.

Down, down, down. Straight into the belly of the beast.

You weren’t going to the basement levels. You were going beneath Site-20.

Next Chapter

[goldeneyedgirl]

Hey! @sonyawix

This is an interesting take and I had to consult with the Holder of the Jalice Braincells (@volturialice) to really break this down.

It sounds like the author of that take is kind of more interested in perfect, idealized relationships and might not be a fan of Alice, honestly. Plus SMeyer made a lot of the relationship dynamics in canon a really odd thing - we see all three Cullen relationships as very one-dimensional because of the relationship triptych I've ranted about before.

Because of Alice's backstory and her gift, we know that she's going to be a bit of a weirdo. She's essentially bet everything she has that the pictures in her brain are a path to happiness, that Jasper will make her happy. She has no reference point to interpersonal relationships beyond her visions, she has no memories of humanity; we really aren't shown exactly what level she was functioning at when she woke up. Those 28 missing years would be fascinating in how she built herself into a functional individual, honestly.

She bets everything on Jasper, and I think that shows what an optimistic, determined person she is. She could have gone to the Cullens straight away and probably would have been welcomed warmly - there's nothing in canon indicating that wasn't an option. But for whatever reason, Alice commits to waiting for Jasper. That's loyalty and dedication and love.

Just because their meeting was fated/planned doesn't mean it isn't meaningful.

So Alice seeing Jasper for all those years is not going to necessarily match up with him in real life. It's one thing to know a person has trauma, it's entirely another to meet that traumatized, depressed person. It's one thing to get the greatest hits of the relationship pumped straight into the brain, it's another to have all those small moments, those in-between times.

We know from Jasper's time with Maria that he tends to deify the women he's involved with. He put both Maria and Alice on a pedestal. That's just how he loves and commits - fully and totally. His 'hyperfocus' on Alice is a sign of how much he loves and treasures her. I honestly don't think it would have mattered how or when they met, Jasper would have treated her the same - the most precious thing he has.

We also know that Jasper has spent the best part of one hundred years in a high-stress environment where nothing was guaranteed. He didn't trust Maria at the end. So being introduced to someone who could tell him which path would be safe? Where there was no risk or fighting? I think that would be an incredible support for Jasper. I imagine in the early days, he'd probably ask Alice to check the future more than necessary because of his PTSD. And I can imagine Alice checking every time he asked, and going over all the details with love and patience.

And we know that Jasper does go against her wishes - he disagreed with her decision to return to Forks when Alice thought she had died, and Alice went alone (side note, if Jasper had gone with her, there was an opportunity for a lot of Eclipse set up right there.)

As for dehumanizing all her relationships, Alice is very distinctively trying to help throughout the series. It might be over the top, and it might not go to plan, but all of her visions and guidance are meant to help the people she loves. Alice has never known life without her sixth sense, so of course she uses it like we use our five senses. Does it give her a God-complex? Yes. Do I think it's meant to be more of a nod to Meyer's insistence on calling her a 'pixie' and utilizing fae imagery since fairies in lore are supported to love helping? Absolutely.

I think it's pretty disingenuous to say that people are 'ideas' to Alice when she was changed and abandoned. It's more likely that Alice is more intensely aware of what makes them happy so that they all stay together and she's not left alone again. If she didn't see people as people, but as chess pieces, then she wouldn't have go to see Charlie when she thought Bella was dead; she wouldn't have gone to Volterra to save Edward; she wouldn't have taken Jasper with her to find the hybrid.

So yeah, I disagree pretty strongly with this because it feels more like a way to minimize and dismiss Alice and her relationship with Jasper. But this is just my take on the character, and I'm sure there are dozens of different readings and interpretations out there!

[ewanmitchelll]

“Check yes, Y/N...” (I)

Imagine you are the youngest daughter of Lord Stark and Aemond Targaryen falls in love with you right before civil war starts. What then?

Warnings: fluff.

***

You like the cold. It's soothing, it's home. It's all you ever known. It’s right where you belong. At times, the wolf spirit—a term used rather sternly by Lord Stark to qualify your willfulness—comes to surface and you flee from dinner to run towards the highest hill and there stay, almost howling to the moon. Perhaps you are a she-wolf, indeed—much to your parents dismay.

Nonetheless, you see yourself a sweet she-wolf, though. You are still every inch a damsel, whose preferences lie in the stars, books and solitude. Sometimes you dance, sometimes you play the lute. Unusually, you sew or ride.

When you were a child, though, your spirits were wilder and your mother were often chasing after you because you hated to sew and wanted to play sword with your brothers. However, you are older now—you are not loud, neither a disobedient lass. You possess a sweet nature that flown into a radiant beauty to gaze at, though you are unaware of how beautiful you are to others.

Precisely why your mother and father think wise to marry you before you start taking random flirtations with stable boys to other levels. Such activities are not being tolerated anymore. So now here you are, going to the court with your father to celebrate King Viserys’s name day.

“Why are you looking so abhorrent, my child? Every other lady would gladly switch sides to be in your position now”, so tells your father.

You are dressed in light blue silk gown with details in white, your hair drops loose from both sides in northern fashion braids.

“I do not wish to look so, my father”, you respond him in a melodic voice, bearing a composed smile. “I merely wished we could stay at home, is all. I miss my books. They make me feel more useful than going to celebrate a distant king.”

“I am not tolerating your nonsense”, he snaps at you. “My patience with you is running thin, Y/N. You don’t think I know you are smitten with Master H/N? Nay. A lone wolf does not survive without its pack, and it’s more than time for you to build yours.”

Message is clear. You turn your gaze away, hurt for not being told you are about to get married to some stranger… and thus miss the freedom you’ve always had.

But you can’t tell what fate has for you…

***

Lord Aemond has just left Vhagar when he spots Ser Criston Cole in fast pace.

“Let me guess. Aegon has gone missing again, hasn’t he?”, he rolls his eyes. “And right today. I shouldn’t be surprised. In fact, I am not.”

Ser Criston smirks at the prince.

“Your mother is not in the best of the moods this day, my prince. You are lucky there’s still thirty minutes ahead before the feast begins.”

Aemond smirks back.

“Always on time.”

He, however, hopes he will not be seen when his name echoes in the hallway. Aemond stops, shoulders tense. Fuck.

“Mother dear”, he turns, hands behind his back, posture perfect. “To what I owe the honor?”

“Don’t play the cynical with me, Aemond Targaryen. I told you not to ride on Vhagar this day. It’s your father’s name day. What’s wrong with you?” Alicent smells and groans. “Goodness me! You smell like old dragon!”

“Mother! No need to offend Vhagar”, he protests. “I will bath and not waste our time… Though I hardly expect that he is noticing us.”

“Don’t. Aemond, don’t say these things. Your father loves you…”

Aemond shakes his head. But, holding back his temper, he looks at his mother fondly before pressing a kiss over her temple.

“I will not take that long, I promise.”

And just like that he vanishes, much to Queen Alicent’s frustrations. Couldn’t they just be a functional family for once? But she chews her bottom lip and buried such thought deep in her mind under the pretense all that is well shall end well.

***

Your father is very pleased for the honored seats he arranged for him, your brother and you. He is to be found close to Princess Rhaenyra’s side, whom he regards as the true heir to the Iron Throne—as he vowed years before. Your brother, his heir, was arranged to seat by the Velaryon’s table. But you… you got the better part, or so he judged. You are to seat next to princess Helaena’s side.

Despite knowing her good nature, you are suddenly shy. You panic before the fact you are too close to the throne. That is, to the royal family.

I was born to be a loner. My father somehow fails to see it.

Yet, you mask well your insecurities. You take a deep breath, but as you step to take your place, lord Aemond shows up and joins you. You haven’t noticed he’d been following you with his eyes, amused by how socially awkward you are.

“If you excuse me, my lady, you are not the only outsider here”, he says in a husky tone.

“My lord prince”, your eyes go wide and your face goes bright pink. You instantly curtsy. “I…Greetings, my lord. I wasn’t expecting to join your family, is all. It’s an honor unfit for my station, despite my father believing otherwise.”

He chuckles at your words. Aemond is intrigued how you, clearly a northern, provides a great stark from his family.

“Well, I don’t think I’ve seen a humble nobleman before, less so a noblewoman”, he pulls a chair for you to seat before joining your side. “May I know your name, my lady?”

Something about his voice gives you chills and weakens your knees. But a proud she-wolf would not admit it, would you now?

“Lady Y/N Stark”, you present yourself regally. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance…”

He takes your hand and there presses a kiss. As your eyes meet, you don’t seem to notice how lingering the gaze is until he drops your hand. Aemond side smirks at you, amusement glinting before his good eye.

“As it is mine, lady Stark. Have you never seen an one eyed man before?”

“Staring is rude, my mother would reprehend me for such behavior, apologies”, you smile, though nothing in your eyes gives any sign of regret; the ambivalence of your body language and your words hold his attention. “People usually say the eyes give so much of the soul…”

“I have but one. Should it be presumed I have a hole in my soul?”, he muses sarcastically, much to your annoyance.

“This is hardly what I intended to speak. It appears, however, my lord has the ability to read minds since you can so easily decipher what is in mine”, you retort.

Lord Aemond chuckles, appreciating your sharp tongue as he takes a seat next to you at long last.

“Don’t mind me, lady Stark. I was merely being provocative. Ask my relatives away, if you like. Do not take it personal.”

You refuse to cast him a glance, pretending to concentrate yourself in the food there is on your plate.

“Why would I do so? I do not need proofs when you give so willingly.”

“It appears I offended my lady”, he observes in a whisper.

“We did not start well”, you agree, opting for the silence.

But Aemond is not letting you go quiet so easily. He is still transfixed by your presence and what you showed. Sweet you may be, but he finds something else in you that has all of him right into you without your notice.

“I’ve never been to Winterfell before”, he tells you. “So far I’ve been to Harrenhal and the Riverlands, but never so far north. The lands of the wolves. I’ve read about them. The dire-wolves are legendary beasts who, however, possess quite a connection with their owners. Some say it lies in the magical past of the First Men”.

His wit dissolves any first bad impression you had on him, forcing you to look at him, perplexed.

“How’d you know all these things?”

Aemond smirks, pleased to see he has your attention.

“I read books. I am not merely a sword player, my lady, nor some vain lord you might judge. I believe the brain is the best defense of any living creature.”

You tilt your head, not minding the festivities that are occurring, nor how Aegon is rolling his eyes at what he judges as boring conversation.

“Indeed it is, although not many of us are able to sharp it as it should”, you give a half crooked grin.

“How so, lady Stark?”, he inquires, taking his goblet of wine to his lips all the while locking eyes with you.

Your knees go weak and something about how he stares at you makes your feminine parts go warm. Despite such uncomfortable realization, you mask your sentiments well.

“Men are given a greater level of liberty to such matters. This should tell a lot.”

“I detect some resentment in it.”

“This world is not balanced nor fair, my lord. And yet I can’t say I am not privileged myself. I’ve been given some access to knowledge, that I will not lie, against my own mother’s desires, but I wish I had more.”

Aemond smirks. You think he is denuding your soul, but instead of pushing him away, your eyes remain glued against his—the invitation is too tempting to refuse.

“Has the wolf been caged?”

“No, my lord. Like dragons, we are not anybody’s possessions to be slaved to others’ will.”

But for now the conversation is interrupted. To Aemond’s consternation, Lord Velaryon asks you for a dance. What annoys him further is that you smile at him and say yes.

(To be continue)

[aylen-san]

Continuing education

Elwing led Maglor to the seaside. The sea was calm, its waves gently lapping against the sandy shore, and the evening sun painted the water in golden and pink hues. A fresh sea breeze carried the scent of salt and seaweed. Here, amidst this grandeur of nature, she felt closer to her roots and the wonders she had once experienced.

They stopped at the very edge of the water, and Elwing, holding Maglor’s hand, looked into his eyes. The damp sand beneath their feet was pleasantly cool, sticking to their bare feet and creating a sense of unity with nature.

— Over there on the distant shores, — she began, her voice troubled and profound, — I first experienced the wonder of transformation. This experience changed me forever, and I want to share it with you. But for this, you will need not only knowledge but also a strong will and a pure heart, — Elwing did not want to recall the events that led to the transformation.

Maglor listened intently, his eyes burning with curiosity and determination. He felt as if he were on the brink of a great discovery and was ready for it. Elwing allowed the past to fade into the background for now, focusing on the lesson. If he succeeded, he would be able to fly with Eonwë and spend even more time with him.

Elwing continued to speak about the magic of transformations, her voice soft yet penetrating. She explained how important it was to understand not only the physical form but also the inner essence of the bird he wished to become. Maglor absorbed every word, his mind working at full capacity, trying to remember all the details and nuances.

— You must not just imagine the form but also feel it, become it on a soul and mind level. To begin, close your eyes and imagine that you are a bird. This is a deep fusion with the nature of the being you wish to become. You must feel how the bird breathes, how its wings cut through the air, how its heart beats in its chest. Only then can you become one of them. — I will try, Lady Elwing!

She let go of his hand and took a step back, giving him space to concentrate. Maglor closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to connect with the nature around him. He listened to the sound of the waves rolling over the sand and imagined what it was like to be part of this vast sea.

Maglor closed his eyes and tried to picture the flight of a bird, recalling everything he had learned from observing birds. He felt the wind, heard the cries of seagulls, and smelled the salty sea. But nothing happened. He opened his eyes and sighed in disappointment.

— This is harder than I thought, — he said. Elwing smiled, but her smile was tinged with sadness.

— It does not come right away. You need time and patience. It’s late already, stay with me tonight; the shore can be treacherous at night. Maglor hesitated for a moment, during which a thick fog began to roll in along the path leading to the tower. For a moment, he thought he saw a figure vaguely resembling an elf. "Is it Ossë?" — flashed through his mind, but who it was Maglor did not know; it was probably just a trick of the fog. Eonwë had warned him to be cautious with the sea and had sternly advised him to avoid the sea Maiar.

It seemed he would indeed have to stay with Elwing. But now he was beginning to worry about why she had been so angry with him at first, and why — Maglor was afraid to ask.

He turned his gaze to Elwing, who was still watching him, her face once again taking on a serious expression. Maglor felt an indescribable tension between them related to his past, but he could not understand its source.

— Lady Elwing, — he began, gathering all his courage, — I feel that I caused you much pain in the past, though I do not remember it. It is hard for me to understand, but I want to know what exactly I did. Please, tell me so that I can atone for my sins.

Elwing sighed, her gaze softening but still filled with pain. She was silent for a long time before responding.

— You were one of those who attacked the Havens of Sirion and took my sons, Elrond and Elros, — she finally said, her voice trembling with suppressed emotion. — You were the cause of my pain and suffering. I lost my family and my home because of you and your brothers.

Maglor felt a chill run down his spine. He did not know what to say; his heart ached with pain and remorse. He had never known what exactly he had done, but now, hearing it, he understood why Elwing had been so angry with him.

— I do not remember this, — he said quietly, lowering his head. — But I sincerely apologize for everything I have done. I want to atone for my sins and help you as much as I can.

Elwing looked at him, her eyes filled with conflicting emotions. She saw before her not an enemy but a young elf seeking forgiveness and redemption and help in learning.

— It is not easy, Maglor, — she said more gently. — But if you truly wish to atone for your sins, you must be prepared for a long journey. Let’s start with lessons. Perhaps, in time, I will be able to forgive you.

Maglor nodded, understanding that it would not be easy. His eyes suddenly stung with self-reproach for his past, for the fact that Maglor felt not only that he was to blame but also that Elwing and someone else very important to him were involved. But above all, he was pierced by a longing for the two little half-elves, inexplicably dear to him, and resentment mixed with love for someone very high and red-haired.

Elwing noticed how Maglor’s face changed and shifted her focus from her own feelings. She saw in him not just an enemy, but an elf who also suffered from his past, even if he did not remember it fully. In this small elf, she saw not only guilt but also a sincere desire to make things right.

— Maglor, — she began softly, extending her hand to him, — I understand that this is not easy for you. We have both lost much in the past. But now we have a chance to start anew, — she said this more to herself than to him, wondering once again why Manwë had sent Fëanor’s son to her.

— Thank you, Lady Elwing, — he said, his voice trembling with emotion. — I am ready to learn and work on myself. I want my father to be proud of me.

Elwing stood with her head bowed and sighed heavily. Her eyes were shining with tears she had struggled to hold back. It was difficult for her to accept the thought that Fëanor's sons were not absolute monsters but had human qualities as well. Tormented by conflicting feelings, Elwing tried to understand what had led them to turn against their own kin.

It was easier for her to think of them as heartless servants of the enemy rather than acknowledge that the attack on the Havens of Sirion was not entirely their fault. Elwing was tormented by the thought that she should have ensured her sons' safety and sent them to Círdan or Gil-galad, declaring an evacuation. Perhaps she should have tried to negotiate with Maedhros and Maglor? Why did they attack and draw their swords against their own kin?

These questions had troubled her for many centuries and now resurfaced from the depths of her mind. But alas, she could no longer get answers — Maglor did not remember this episode of his past life, and Maedhros and Ambarussa were long gone.

— We will start with lessons, — she said, rising and smoothing the folds of her light dress, — and then see where this path leads us. Remember, you promised to learn not only transformation but also the culture of the Sindar.

Stealing Maglor directly from Elwing, as he had done with her sons, would likely be impossible. After all, this was Aman, the sacred land where rules and laws were much stricter. Here, surrounded by immortal elves and under the watchful eyes of the Valar, such actions would not go unnoticed. But convincing him to stay with her? Oh yes, she would try!

Elwing mentally calculated how best to approach this issue. A faint smile played on her lips as she imagined how she would subtly influence his decisions. Perhaps she would start with tales of her people’s traditions and history, showing him the beauty and wisdom he had never known. Her home was full of artifacts and relics, each with its own story to tell.

She might invite him to stroll through the quiet forests and shores of Aman, showing him the beauty of these places. Perhaps she would teach him to sing Sindarin songs. Their melodies and words would penetrate his soul, awakening something new within him, something he had never known. In the past, Maglor was renowned not only as a warrior but also as an outstanding bard.

Every action of his, every step, every glance, she would guide in the right direction. His trust in her would grow with each passing day, and soon he would begin to see her not just as his enemy but as a mentor, friend, and even family. He would start staying longer and longer, first for one night, then for several days, and eventually for weeks.

Elwing was confident that, over time, he would want to stay with her. He would realize that he had found something here that he could never find among the Noldor — true understanding, acceptance, and peace. And then she would know that her plan had succeeded. Wouldn’t it be the best revenge against the Noldor and even against Maglor himself, when he remembers the past, to make him a true Sindar and tame him, just as she had done with her sons?

[reluctanthurricane]

#24 for the end-of-year book meme, please!

Did you DNF anything? Why?

I sure did! I read a lot and I try not to make myself finish things if I could be reading a book I'd like more. I'm bad at it and I'm also bad at tracking but here are the ones I did track/can remember

Under a cut because apparently I have more than I realized

Queen of Sorrow, by Sarah Beth Durst -- I was enjoying this trilogy well enough. Like nothing ground breaking but I was having a good time. And I thought I knew where it was going! The premise of the world was that humans and these like, nature spirits shared the world and some female humans had the ability to control the nature spirits and each land has a queen that controls the nature spirits of the whole land and it was framed in a way that the nature spirits needed the human queen to control them and in the first book we find that some of the spirits are way smarter than the protagonist knew was possible, so I thought oh, I know where this is going, in the last book we're going to find out that this White Man's Burden style subjugation is actually bad, but then I picked it up and that didn't seem to be where it was going and I talked to some folks who read it and apparently that doesn't get addressed??? So that felt icky so I gave up on it.

Octavia's Brood, this is a short story collection that marries the themes of Octavia Butler's work with the imaginations of social justice activists, which is a cool concept! Except I read the first two stories and both of them were ... not good. I was told there was one really good story in there but I gave it back to the friend who lent it to me without reading it so that was on me, but yeah, not for me.

Nudge, I was reading this and then it seemed uh, internally inconsistent with its argument and then I remembered the executive level coworker who recommended it to me got fired and then If Books Could Kill did an episode on it while I was reading it and I was like "Okay, I don't need to finish this"

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making, by Catherynne M. Valente. I just wasn't vibing with it. It was good but idk, I think I read it too close to Seanan McGuire (writing as A. Deborah Baker) doing a very similar concept and I needed more space between them. I may pick it up again. some other time

Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett - oh my, okay. So. I know a lot of people adore this book, and I'm so happy for them and I wish I could be one of them. But the prose is excruciating and I say this as someone who loves flowery bullshit. I think my biggest problem with it is that it felt to me like it was supposed to read academic or even maybe bloviating academic, which makes sense! But instead it was overwrought in a way that did not match at all with Emily Wilde as a character. She is an old school anthropologist who is so focused on her work that she doesn't think to do anything to personalize her long-term-temporary home. This is her journal/field notes, I just cannot imagine her taking the time to describe the natural world around her in all that much detail, let alone describe the sky as a "cerulean canopy". If she were in the humanities, I'd be here for it, if she were especially extra as a person sure! But she is neither and I got mad about it.

Castles in Their Bones, by Laura Sebastian - Another book that I was having a perfectly fun time with, but I think I just didn't have patience for YA at the time and then my library loan lapsed and I didn't put any effort into getting it back.

The Terraformers, by Annalee Newitz. I am planning on picking this one up again! I have it on my list of books I am going to prioritize this year! But somehow again! Timing has conspired against me with finishing one of their books! This is the fourth time!!! I have started one of their books and through no fault of the book!!! I have failed to finish it!!!! :( I am going to break the pattern this year!!!!

How to Keep House While Drowning, by K C Davis. Listen I know this book helps a lot of people. It wasn't for me.

Stiff, by Mary Roach - loan lapsed, I'll pick it up again at some point maybe but I don't have any real plans to do so in the immediate future.

The School for Good Mothers, by Jessamine Chan. I heard good things about this book and I get why! But I am not like, invested in stories about parenthood, and the first bit of the book that I did read was rough (in a like, intentional way that was impressive from a craft perspective) and I wasn't able to get past that part.

Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone, by Benjamin Stevenson. I found this book boring, and I think that is entirely my fault. I am not a mystery reader and I got the vibe that this book was in conversation with the genre in a way that I just wasn't going to appreciate because I was missing all of it! I may pick it up again if I ever become more well versed in the genre or maybe I will try reading it with my ears some time.

The Soul of an Octopus, by Sy Montgomery - Montgomery started out the book framing how cool octopodes are through her own experience that was just so obnoxiously saccharine that, I, a person who already thinks cephalopods are cool as heck was rolling my eyes right out of my head. Another example of a book that's probably fine but just not for me

The Last Heir to Blackwood Library, by Hester Fox. I don't remember this book at all, it just had a cool concept and I felt like it kept falling short of how good it should have been.

Tesla, by Richard Munson - I would love to read a biography of Tesla but somehow all the ones I haven't really vibed with any of them. I mean I think biographies of dead genius men are frequently written in a way that is obnoxious. This one was the best of them so far but also my loan lapsed and I have not found my way to caring enough to check it out again.

And finally this is the year I discovered that most romance novels work for me for about 80-90% of the book but once we get to the third act breakup (annoying) or the resolution (even worse), I frequently cannot bring myself to care. And like, I read and finished romance novels I like! But I read 80-90% of probably half or slightly more of the romance novels I picked up. I do think this has to do with me being on the aromantic spectrum. I like romance, I just think that when we start to see the priorities of our protagonists change, the book loses me a little. And I think that's yet another example of not all art being for all people and that being okay.

[justagalwhowrites]

No pressure if you don’t want to share, but I’m so curious what you do for a living and/or what your educational background is. I’m so impressed with your storytelling skills that I feel like it cannot be accidental. I have a fair amount of experience as a reader/writer (though not professional) and have a college level writing/English degree and again I’m just so impressed. I wish I had the patience like some to bullet out specifics within a chapter but it’s like moment to moment you just don’t miss.

The exchange with Tommy and Joel in this chapter was superb. The way you write sometimes there isn’t much explanation needed, you do a beautiful job of showing vs telling. You let details unfold in such a subtle but very intentional way. I never feel like, “Oh, here’s the exposition”.

Beskar Doll and Lavender have been two of my absolute favorites and truthfully the initial plot around Yearling didn’t interest me but I trusted you based on the others. It’s becoming my favorite of the three. Like I don’t even care if it gets smutty (and… I usually want that), the story and character development are enough.

Anyway none of this to say skip the smut 😂 But please you how talented you are, especially considering your writing speed. You’re cranking shit out fast and nothing ever feels rushed or unintentional❤️

OMG Hi Bestie!

I totally don't mind sharing! I work in communications now (I write a lot of emails and blog posts, the occasional journal article, etc.) but I was a journalist for a decade before I sold my soul to the PR gods. I have a degree in journalism so my background is definitely all writing! And I have always done creative writing for fun. My mom went through boxes of my elementary school stuff like a year or two ago and found a little novella I wrote when I was like seven lol. I started writing my first novel (it's very bad though I did finish it) when I was 11 and writing novels has been my primary hobby ever since, really. When I got into fan fic earlier this year, I just kind of picked up what I do in novel planning and whatnot and plopped it into the fic space. It means so much that you think it's high quality work! I'm so glad you've enjoyed it!

And OMG this is so exciting about Yearling lol. Yearling has made me so nervous from the start? It was a story I really wanted to tell - trauma, recovery, finding home and family, forgiveness, growth - but it was the first fic I started writing that I thought people might be reading from the beginning and I didn't want to disappoint anyone. Every other fic I started writing thinking no one would read it so the stakes were INCREDIBLY low lol it was just for me! It's a little different now because so many kind, wonderful people have read these stories. Yearling is obviously a slow burn, which I know isn't what people always go for, and there's a LOT of plot - again, not always what draws people into fic! - so I'm thrilled that people have connected with it. I'm extra happy that you're a convert to it!! That made my day, for real!

Don't worry, smut is coming soon in Yearling lol! Smut is never the point in my fics, more just sprinkled in for spice (not that there's anything wrong with PWP!! I love that! I'm just AWFUL at writing it) but I love having it. I may not be as explicit when I write books but I find stories for and about adults unrealistic if it doesn't include sex or romance as some kind of driver (unless the characters are aro/ace) so it's a safe bet you'll find smut in my work! Also love that you think I'm writing fast lol I feel like I'm going so slow compared to Lavender but I really needed to have better balance between life and fic writing this time. While it's not written yet, I do have the whole fic story mapped so there's a plan for every major plot point. It's definitely intentional! I hope it keeps coming off that way and that you keep enjoying it!

Thank you so so so much for reaching out and for spending your time reading these fics. I loved reading your thoughts!! Love you!!

[wevulcan90]

It has been awhile ...

My last post was 3 years ago. It has been rough and that's the nicest way to put it.

A lot has happened since 2019, I quit school and pursued working full time instead of part time, I was on-off while working did not have the patience at all (Customer service gets to you), at that time I learned a lot, then COVID hit and then was jobless at that time for roughly 6 months and between those months my grandmother died. From there it just sucked, we were back to work however limited but this time I was working with a different company, met people, grew as a person, actually liked worked, and then was promoted into a position early 2022. My girlfriend also was going to study abroad in the same year which sucked. While working in a position, it was hard. It was hard to work in a position, making decisions that could affect people and their livelihood, fighting off out clients, trying to raise morale, and caring for them. It grew me as person but at the same time it was miserable. There's the constant thought people have it out for you, people will hate you, your friends when you were on their same level will treat you differently, and people even higher will have your head if you f**k things up.

It was dark and I had to get away from made even worse that you also have your own personal problems. My own family feels like I'm just another piggy bank (some of them), long distance is really hard but making it work, and health issues. The same year I thought I had a stroke after one my colleagues noticed my right face is drooping, eyes are not blinking the same time and as well as my taste not working properly working. I thought I was tired and after checking with the company doctor I could have a mini stroke while I was asleep and was sent to the hospital for proper check-up and tests. It turns-out I had Bell's Palsy, possibly because of the stress or due to a viral infections.

After all that happened I decided to just change things. I wanted to resign.

This year I had resigned. Now working on a way to get to Canada as well as a student same route as my girlfriend. It has been rough financially and emotionally. I just wish I can push through it.

There's a lot to tell but I don't think it would be appropriate (specially the details in between these stories).

The reason why I'm venting this all-out is because this platform is small and it's not as toxic, and I remembered I actually had fun here. I don't like doing diaries they get lost and I don't like putting notes and saving in the cloud I want to share this with some people, the reason I dunno? It could be I just want to see this for their context, possibly to just vent, all of them or possibly because f**k it.

There has been a meme going on for awhile that after COVID it just the world went downhill, I'm inclined that's true since reading everything I wrote it would be the same for me as well but I am thinking it is my decisions. Whatever the case COVID or not it would still be the same I would be in the same place because I suck at making decisions but I do hope whatever decision I make it would be done right in the end ... It would matter. No matter how much it f**king sucks right now it was worth it.

I might post again, depending and I hope I get to see this again and whoever reading this thank you.

[woodys-surf-shack]

Surf Log 013

Date: Mon 7th August 2023

Location: The Wave, Bristol

Waves: 3+ ft (Waikiki)

Journal: I finally made it to The Wave! I've wanted to visit for months now, but couldn't decide on a date or which wave level would be best for me. In the end I went for a Waikiki lesson and session, which is the next stage up after Beginner and the stage before Intermediate. I was tempted to try Intm. but I'm glad I didn't as this was the perfect level to ease into things.

After a 2+ hour drive, I had my lesson at 13:30, and the instructors (Ryan and Hannah, I think their names were) were as friendly and knowledgable as you'd hope. Especially Ryan, who gave off big bro vibes haha. I started out on an 8ft softtop board. I was in an average size group with about 6/7 others, and I got some very helpful feedback on my pop up technique and some tips on how to turn better before heading into the water.

The fresh water was beautiful and a nice temperature, a big difference from the cold salty sea that I'm used to. I ended up going first, and to my surprise I did pretty well. I think I caught every wave I went for, except maybe one or two. I focussed on details such as positioning and paddling before the wave gets you, getting my hands lower down before my pop up, placing my back foot properly, bending my knees and not my back, and most importantly: keeping my eyeline straight forward.

After this I dried off and had some lunch, before exploring the facility a bit more. It's really impressive and has a relaxed atmosphere, even though it's busy. The food options were great, their surf shop has some cool stuff, and the surrounding area is lovely (the 1 mile walk from the car park is surrounded by lush green fields full of cows, sheep and solar panels).

19:00 rolled around and it was time for my unguided session. This time i went for a slightly smaller 7.6ft softtop board. I got chatting with a lot more of my fellow surfers on this occasion, and it felt good to have nice little talks with everyone while we were waiting our turn. Once again I focussed on perfecting my pop up and riding the wave for as long as I could. But most of all I tried to just enjoy myself and have fun. There was a couple of waves that went really nicely, and left me wishing for a bigger wave and/or a faster board. But I need to nail my turning before I can do that.

I'm realising I'm a bit obsessed with the adrenaline rush of surfing, and perhaps need to work on my patience and technique if I want to make meaningful progress.

Learnings: Hold my hands more centred and lower down towards my stomach when popping up.

Keep your chin up and eyeline forward from the moment you start paddling through to standing up. Where you look is where you go! Try reading subtitles on the TV when practising pop ups at home in your living room to perfect this.

After raising your shoulders/torso, the second step is to have your back foot go onto the ball of your foot. Then as you place the whole foot down, that's when your front foot should come up.

Keep your spine straight so you don't bend over and fall off. Instead, bend your knees down to the board.

Hold your hands up and gently glide them right to turn.

[babyboiboyega]

The Study Room Pt.5 (HBCU!Shuri x Black!Fem!Reader)

HBCU!Shuri x Black!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.9k

Content: nothing too bad in this part, a little bit of angry!shuri, but then we also get protective!shuri, and another close call (but a good one ;))

Babyboiboyega's Marvel Masterlist

Babyboiboyega's Masterlist of Masterlists

Series Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

A/N: Once again, I wanna thank you all for wishing me and my family well! I'd also like to thank y'all for your patience! It definitely takes a lot of weight off of my shoulders knowing that you all are patient and understanding! I hope you enjoy this part!

Also! Translations are at the end! There is a conversation that is spoken in xhosa in this part and the translations are provided at the end instead of right after the conversation because I meant it to be that way! The reader (you) doesn't speak Xhosa, so it's meant to be a little confusing and unknown!

Recap:

The view that greeted you was astonishing, to say the least. It was night time, but that only made it easier to see the futuristic buildings that made up the city below your window. There were aircrafts flying around, but not one of them looked like a typical airplane. Every light that you could see twinkled in the night time, serving almost as a welcoming beacon to anyone on the streets below. 

It was utterly and breathtakingly beautiful. 

You were still coming to terms with what you were seeing when Shuri spoke, her voice proud and confident as she answered the question that had been on your mind since waking up.

“Y/N…welcome to Wakanda.”

*************************

After the reveal, you had, understandably, been a little overwhelmed to say the least. So overwhelmed, in fact, that you had only blinked and nodded wordlessly at Shuri’s words. Her eyebrows had furrowed and she had looked almost suspiciously at you.

“I won’t lie…I was expecting more of a reaction from you.”

“Shuri, I’ll be honest with you…I don’t think I have enough brain strength to fully comprehend this. Try me again tomorrow, and I promise I’ll give you a more appropriate reaction.”

She had softly laughed, but nodded in understanding nonetheless. The window had been replaced with the wall once more, and then she had approached your bed. 

“Well, then in that case, I suppose I should let you rest.” 

The effort it took to keep your eyes from fluttering closed was enough for her, prompting her to grab the edge of your blanket and pull it higher on your body. 

“Sleep well, Y/N. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Upon waking up, you found that Wakanda looked very different in the daylight. It was still just as beautiful as it looked the night before, but as you stood at the same large window it had been revealed to you through, you could see things you hadn’t seen before. The details that had been covered by the blanket of night were now easy to see, and you couldn’t help but stare in awe at every building you could see. 

Every single one was a masterpiece of architecture; a mix of what looked to be traditional, African architecture and modern, technologically advanced architecture that was unique to only Wakanda. The taller buildings, similar to skyscrapers, were surrounded by smaller buildings alternating in shape, size, and color. Most buildings were covered in a beige or brown material, whether it be metal, clay, or a mixture; despite this, other colors still popped out and caught your eye.

The room that you resided in, a room that was in the actual palace, Shuri had been excited to tell you, was high enough for you to see the street level market that ran as far as you could see. The tiny figures of the people below were visible as they congregated in small groups and undoubtedly shopped the diverse array of goods. 

Had you been in Wakanda under different circumstances- better circumstances, you would’ve surely been trying your damnedest to get to street level so you could see Wakanda up close; interact with the people who lived there, buy your fair share of cultural food and items. Instead, after waking up, you had been given a new outfit (which you were very grateful for) and told to sit patiently until someone came to escort you…somewhere. 

You had taken the opportunity to actually work on comprehending your circumstances, along with trying to organize your questions that arose from them. It was about as challenging as you expected it to be, but you managed to get a good grip on it before a knock was sounding on the door to the room. 

“Come in!”

The door opened, revealing Shuri and an almost wary looking Aneka. At the sight of the woman you had positively embarrassed yourself in front of, your eyes widened a fraction and you took a few steps forward. It was ironic how you two had switched places since your first, eventful meeting, for now Aneka looked cautious as you stepped forward. 

“Aneka- wait,” you turned to face Shuri, dropping your voice to a whisper, “does she have a title? Do I call her by a certain title?”

 Shuri’s eyebrows furrowed and she looked at you in silence for a second. Then her lips slowly curved into a smile- one that you recognized as the same one she wore whenever she was thinking of something smart or mischievous to say. Your eyes narrowed and you tried to convey a slight, faux warning with your eyes. You opened your mouth to further convey your threat, but a voice interrupted you before you could do so.

“It's just Aneka.”

Facing Aneka, you gave a small, apologetic smile before diving into the apology that you may or may not have rehearsed. 

“Aneka, I’m sorry for reacting the way I did. I was so disoriented, especially after waking up after everything that had happened, and then I didn’t know where I was, and then I didn’t know who you were, and I should have just listened-”

You were bordering on a rant that only stopped when you felt a hand land on your arm. It caught your attention, your head turning in Shuri’s direction to see that her mischievous smile had been replaced with a reassuring and amused one. Her eyes were looking behind you at Aneka, and as you faced her once more, you could see that she had a smile similar to Shuri’s on her face. 

Her smile admittedly lessened your worries that you had seriously messed up any cordialness between the two of you, making a relieved breath go through you. Well, that was one task out of the way. 

“Shuri has already explained your circumstances, and I understand why you reacted the way that you did. I am curious, though, on how you were intending on using that vase.”

The mention of your impromptu weapon had you looking for it, or rather the pieces that had been left of it, only to see that it had been cleaned up. Add another task: apologize to whoever had to clean it up.

Add another task: apologize for breaking it in the first place.

You let out a sigh, shaking your head at yourself. Maybe it was best to just issue a general apology for any and everything you did while so disoriented and confused and hope that it reached the right people. Maybe that was for the best. 

“I have no idea, but I don’t doubt that I would’ve hurt myself trying to use it.”

Aneka pursed her lips in thought, raising an eyebrow that was literally sculpted perfectly. 

“I don’t know about that. You seemed prepared to do what needed to be done.”

A short and amused laugh left your mouth at her words. You could remember the feeling of utter confusion you had felt in that moment and how it had made you so illogical that, now thinking back on it, could’ve made you do things that you wouldn’t normally do. Hell, you had picked up a vase and threatened a member of the Dora Milaje with it. You normally wouldn’t do that.

“Well, I, for one, am happy that you both made it out alive and unharmed. Who knows what she could’ve done with that vase, Aneka? Thank Bast, you’re alive and with us.”

You blindly reached out, lightly pushing at Shuri’s arm until a laugh escaped her mouth, Aneka watching amusedly. 

The interaction between the three of you felt normal enough that it temporarily distracted you from reality of your circumstances, though it came quickly crashing down as the door opened once more.

Okoye’s eyes flitted between you, Shuri, and Aneka as she entered the room. There was something in her expression that not only made Aneka straighten, being in the presence of her General, but it also made Shuri step forward. As she stepped past you, her furrowed eyebrows and worried expression were apparent. The joking atmosphere that the three of you had developed quickly dissipated until a more somber one descended over the room. 

“We may have found something.”

Okoye’s words served as both a statement and an incentive for the three of you to follow her as she turned on her heel and walked out, which is what you did. You fell into step behind Okoye and Shuri while Aneka kept pace with you. A quick glance over at the woman showed that the smile that had been on her face a minute ago had been replaced with a tightly focused expression, and it was easy to figure out why as you tuned into the words being spoken between the two women in front of you. 

“What is it, Okoye? Please tell me there’s an update on the printer.”

It wasn’t surprising to learn that they had been working on finding the culprit behind everything while you were unconscious; what was surprising was the fact that they hadn’t found any substantial leads yet. Wakanda was the most technologically advanced nation on Earth, and this person was managing to evade their efforts. It didn’t say anything about Wakanda’s efforts, but it said everything about this person you were looking for.

It only showed how elusive and cunning the person was. It showed how patient they were to follow Shuri around for months, taking pictures from the shadows. It showed how unhinged they were to then send those pictures to her own guards with a threatening message for you, the person who dared get close to the person of their obsessions. It showed how dangerous they were to then try and take you out of the picture altogether. 

But was their intention truly to kill you? Shuri had said there was enough poison in the dosage to severely affect you, but not to kill you. Was it simply a mistake on their part? No, this person was calculated; they wouldn’t mess something as important as eliminating any obstacles between them and Shuri up. 

It all being a scare tactic seemed to be the most feasible option.

“Y/N?”

You had been following Shuri and Okoye the entire time, unknowingly zoning out of their conversation and entering your own reverie. Unknowingly, you had passed multiple windows that gave an unobscured view of the city below, but you hadn’t even paid attention to them. 

Shuri had looked back upon approaching the entrance to her lab, eyebrows instantly furrowing at the expression that was both dazed and acutely worried on your face. It worried her; seeing a multitude of thoughts on your face that you didn’t verbalize for unknown reasons. 

She didn’t want to assume, though she could imagine the anxiety and uncertainty going through your mind. She only hoped that you didn’t have any uncertainty about your safety while you were here with her; as long as she was here, she’d do anything and everything in her power to not risk seeing you hurt again. She’d tell you and show you however many times she had to until you believed it.

“Is everything okay?”

Shuri’s worry was conveyed clearly in her words as she turned to face you, and it made your heart skip a beat…or two. You quickly nodded in reassurance, offering a smile that hopefully looked more genuine than it felt. 

“Yeah, everything’s okay! Was just…thinking.” 

There were three pairs of eyes on you, Shuri’s, Okoye’s, and Aneka’s; none of them looked as if they believed your words. 

With a huff, you motioned for them to continue, not wanting to be the focus of their attention for another second longer. If they looked any longer, they’d surely be able to see the barely concealed panic dancing behind your eyes; a panic you were trying your hardest to tamper down. You were doing a pretty good job at it, so far.

“Please, continue. I’m listening now.”

Okoye and Aneka looked away, but Shuri’s eyes stayed connected with yours. There was a question swimming behind her eyes, and it wasn’t hard to figure what she was asking. You could hear Okoye speaking as you sent another nod at her, trying your best to convey your message with your eyes. 

It had the exact opposite effect, ironically. Whatever she saw in your eyes made her’s narrow in suspicion before she turned to listen to Okoye. There would undoubtedly come a time where she’d corner you and ask you about what was plaguing you, and you’d give the obvious answer: “Oh, getting stalked and poisoned tends to mess with someone’s sense of security a little bit. Not to mention, I’m in a different country- don’t get me wrong, I’m honored to be here. It’s just a lot.”

That’s what you would say, despite your real thoughts and worries centering around not only your safety but Shuri’s. She wouldn’t brush them off, per se, but she’d try to reassure you that you were safe while pushing her own safety to the back burner. 

“The university keeps a database of all of it’s students. It includes in-state, out-of-state, on-campus, off-campus, and online. Each student is assigned an ID at the time of their enrollment-”

“Yes, we know that. How is that any different from what we already know?”

“Mamela, Shuri.” Okoye’s words made Shuri pause, her eyes closing for a second before she nodded. She motioned silently for Okoye to continue.

“Because of this database, we are able to see each and every student who has used a printer in the library.  And because of basic cross-referencing technology, we were able to detect a slight abnormality.”

Okoye approached a structure that looked like it was a simple sheet of glass, though as she ghosted her hand across it, it proved that it was anything but. A countless number of rows appeared on the glass, every row holding a number of columns. The first column held the familiar 9-digit ID you, and every other student, were assigned when you enrolled. The second held the student’s first and last name, and the third held the student’s major. 

“After accessing the database for your library, we found that one student tended to visit the library often. Not only that, but they frequently used the printers.”

A knowing look was shared between you and Shuri, the same thing running through both of your minds. It wasn’t a surprise at all that a student frequented the library a lot and used the printers just as much. You had been to the library and used the printer more times than you could count, despite having to pay a small fee (as if the university wasn’t already siphoning enough of your money). How could a person doing the same thing as you be singled out and their actions be labeled “abnormal”? The list of reasons why they were in the library so much was almost unimaginable: annoying roommate, annoying neighbors, important exams year round, being an incredibly studious person. 

Okoye, unsurprisingly, clocked the look between you two, and she raised her eyebrows as if to ask ‘are you done’? You mumbled an apology as you turned to face her once more, taking note of Shuri’s slightly amused grin. Before continuing, Okoye pressed a few more spots on the screen, prompting another set of information to appear. 

Your shoulders tightened at the sight of the pictures of you and Shuri, separately and together. To the right of each picture showed the day, the time, and what printer the picture had come from. Where it said source type, presumably where the word ‘pdf’ or ‘png’ would go, a simple dash mark resided. 

“There is one student who not only used the printer rather abundantly and used their own, personal computer; but almost always printed their things using an anonymous FTP- a file transfer protocol.”

The words ‘anonymous FTP’ immediately piqued your interest, and the same could be said for Shuri. She straightened, her eyebrows furrowing as she stepped closer to the screen. 

“They configured their own laptop to make an anonymous protocol, and then through that anonymous protocol, they were able to print those pictures without the source being recorded.” Shuri quickly summarized Okoye’s findings, her eyes drifting away from the screen as she undoubtedly began thinking of ways to get rid of all of the anonymity. 

“Precisely. I have already given the information to those in IT who are more than capable of finding the student, and they have been working on it since receiving it…though there is something else.”

The small hope of having a piece of solid information froze as Okoye’s eyebrows furrowed, her mouth twisting as if she had just tasted something bad. Shuri’s head tilted slightly, an almost exasperated look on her face. 

“Something else such as…”

“The IT technicians were able to break the anonymity of the profile and find the student behind the printed pictures.”

Your eyes widened slightly, that small hope blooming into a feeling that made your heart quicken in just the slightest. The anticipation you felt was clear on your face as you stepped forward, willing Okoye to continue.

“Who is the student?”

There was something in Shuri’s voice that made you quickly look at her; a hardness that you’d never heard from her before. Her eyes stared, hard and unrelenting, at Okoye as you all waited for her answer. You could see that her jaw was clenched, and you could practically see the anger manifesting on her face.

“That’s the thing, ukumkanikazi,” Even Okoye looked slightly taken aback at the tone of her voice and the air surrounding her. Unknowingly to you, the last time Okoye had seen Shuri anywhere close to this level of anger was a mere few months ago…around the time of her mother’s murder. “The student who’s profile they uncovered doesn’t exist.”

The silence that followed would’ve been comical had her words not just thrown every single one of you for a loop; an incredibly confusing, frustrating, scary loop. The silence was filled with an exasperation that weighed heavily on all of you. Aneka was the first to break the silence, her voice loud in disbelief.

“...Doesn’t exist?”

“I’m sorry, but what do you mean it doesn’t exist? Like…the person doesn’t exist?”

Okoye heard your question, but her eyes were focused on Shuri, who had taken a step back. She raised a hand, pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes. Her reaction was a good reminder that finding this person was of the utmost importance to her safety. Her safety directly affected her home country that she loved so much, and now she had to worry about…an outsider’s safety as well. 

You suspected Shuri was holding an immeasurable amount of stress back that she wasn’t showing. 

“The person exists, but the information they gave the university is false. It isn’t real.”

Shuri turned away slightly, placing her hands on the nearest desk and leaning over it. Her shoulders raised and fell with a deep breath before she was speaking.

“Are the IT technicians working on finding the real identity of the student? Or whoever this person is.”

Okoye nodded, going to stand beside Shuri. Her words were both confident and reassuring as she spoke softly to her.

“They are. They have been working tirelessly since we were made aware. We will find them, Shuri.”

She straightened, taking another breath before turning to face the general. From your spot, you could see the effect Okoye’s words had on her as her shoulders slowly loosened, dropping slightly. It wasn’t exactly surprising; she had once told you about how close they were, Okoye being a sister, a general, and an advisor all in one. Their relationship was obvious as they seemed to have a conversation with their eyes. 

Okoye quickly glanced at you before looking back at Shuri. 

“Akukho nto ingako sinokuyenza ngoku, Shuri.” 

In response to Okoye’s words (words you didn’t understand one bit), Shuri nodded in resignation. Her face still held that look of almost dangerous determination, though it softened as Okoye continued speaking.

“Mhlawumbi ngoku lixesha lokuba ubonise umhlobo wakho.” 

Whatever she said made Shuri turn and look at you, her eyes softening even more. You felt the corner of your mouth uplift in a small smile; an action Shuri copied before she looked at Okoye.

“Unyanisile, ngumbono olungileyo lowo.”

Her voice had also softened, going back to the light, yet confident, tone she always had. 

Right as you turned to Aneka, ready to ask if she could translate, your name was being called softly. Your attention went back to Shuri, hoping that she hadn’t seen the way you had stared at her as she and Okoye spoke, only to see her already making her way back to where you stood. 

“I was told that now is a good time to show you around, and I have to agree.” Your eyebrows rose in slight surprise as you looked between her and Okoye. You supposed it made sense; there was only so much you all could do while waiting for the real identity of the culprit. Sitting around and worrying didn’t seem like a fun past time, so despite your surprise, you were grateful for the change.

“Oh? Well…lead the way. I can’t wait to see more of everything.”

Your words were genuine as she waved for you to follow her, leading you out of the lab. The excitement was palpable in your voice; you had heard multiple, spectacular stories about Wakanda from Shuri, and now you were able to experience them first hand.

Maybe you could push the whole…stalker thing to the back of your mind for the time being. It’d be easier as long as Shuri was by your side, and it proved to be true the entire time she led you around. 

Each room you visited provided a unique sense of awe. The lab had been mesmerizing enough, but as she showed you more rooms that had different purposes, it was easy to realize why Wakandan was the most technologically advanced nation in the world. It made it easier to fall in love with the country.

The majority of your day was spent following Shuri around in a daze, mouth almost constantly dropped open in awe. Despite all of the hours in the day, there was no way she could show you the entirety of the palace before the day ended; so as she led you to the room that you’d be moving into for the time being, she promised that she’d find another time to show the rest of the palace to you. Of course, you eagerly took her up on her offer. 

The last room she showed you was ‘your’ room, which was coincidentally placed in the same hallway as hers.

You had immediately objected to the placement as you stepped inside, and not because you didn’t want to sleep as close as you appropriately could. Being told that you were staying in the same hallway as Shuri, a queen, in her own country made you feel…intrusive. Alerting Shuri of these thoughts caused her to look at you amusedly.

“You are staying here because you’re my guest. And also because it makes me feel better that you are just a few doors away, should anything happen.” 

Her words registered, but not fully, and it was because your attention had been captured by the room that surrounded you. If you’d thought that the medical room was the height of luxury, it was nothing compared to this room. 

The room was covered in tones of gray and brown, neither colors being too overbearing. There were strip lights built into the tops of the walls, allowing for an even and bright light to help you see the details, which were immaculate (no surprise there). It was modern with obvious cultural touches sprinkled throughout the room that took it to an entirely new level of beauty. It brought an entirely new meaning to the word ‘architecture’. 

There were steps leading up to a platform that held the bed; one that was almost too large to be considered logical for one person to sleep in. But as you approached the bed, walking up the steps, the bed was pushed to the back of your mind.

Instead, you were quickly drawn in by the sight of the absolutely huge window that spanned the entirety of the wall next to the bed. The sight beyond the window was what had your breath hitching.

The market that you had caught a glimpse of upon first waking up was now perfectly viewable from your bedroom window. The night life was different from the day, and as much was obvious as you looked down.

The surrounding buildings’ lights cast a soft glow over the hundreds of people milling, dancing, singing, congregating about below you. The sight was enough to draw a soft smile onto your face. Every second you spent here, you could feel your love and adoration for the culture and its people growing, despite still not having interacted with them face to face yet. Hopefully that would change soon.

“Shuri…this is… I don’t know what to say. Thank you, truly. For everything you’ve done.”

Her steps were quiet as she joined you at the window. She leaned one shoulder against the window, looking down at the scene that still captivated you. 

“There’s no need to thank me, ixhoba. I couldn’t just leave you there after everything that has happened. I only wish that we had been fast enough to stop you from getting hurt in the first place.” 

Your gaze traveled to land on her, seeing the way her eyebrows were furrowed and the way she bit at her lip. She was still looking down at the market, though at the feeling of your gaze on her, she turned her head to meet it. You put all of the conviction you could into your words. 

“What happened, happened. I’m here because you and your team helped me in time. You couldn’t have known they’d go after me the way they did. You’re a genius, but you can’t predict the future, Shuri.” You let out a soft laugh, seeing how she playfully rolled her eyes at your words. When she looked back at you, there was a vulnerability in her eyes, and it showed just how guilty and apprehensive she felt about everything.

Instinctually, you took a step forward, taking a risk and taking her hand in yours. Her fingers instantly intertwined with yours, squeezing gently as a reminder that both of you were there, against all odds.

“I know you’re going to get pretty upset when I say this,” she tilted her head in suspicion, her eyes narrowing. You continued quickly before she could stop you, “But between the two of us, I’m…well I wouldn’t say I’m glad that it was me, but I’m glad it wasn’t you.”

Just as you suspected, Shuri’s eyebrows scrunched together and her lips parted immediately. She shook her head quickly.

“Don’t say that. You are in this mess because of me. I should be the one they’re after- they are obsessed with me.”

“I’m in this mess because this person is deranged and has an unhealthy, almost manic obsession with you. But between us two, Shuri, one of us is the ruler of an entire nation- a nation that needs you. That’s why I need you to promise that you’ll focus as much on your safety as you do mine.”

In your passion, you grabbed her other hand, bringing them to hold in front of you. You looked down at them, your thumb idly tracing the shape of the spiral tattoo on her right hand. 

She used the hold you had on her hands to pull you closer, the tips of your shoes almost brushing against hers. 

“Look at me.”

Her voice was soft, but there was an edge to it. You would’ve interpreted it as her being upset at your statement, but as you looked up and met her eyes, you were almost taken aback at the strong look of protectiveness in them. 

“I respect you and I hear you, Y/N…but no matter what you say, your safety will always be my priority. I know that my country needs me, but what if I need you?”

In your surprise at her words, your grip loosened just a fraction. She was quick to retake your hands in hers, holding them tightly. 

“I was so…Bast, I was so afraid when you were poisoned. I had no idea what would happen to you- I felt helpless.” She shook her head again, gazing intently down at your joined hands. 

“That is a feeling that I do not want to experience again. So forgive me if I want to make sure that the woman I care for is safe while a stalker is after her.”

Your next breath left you in a shaky exhale, your eyes unable to move from her face. You ducked your head in an effort to meet her eyes which she gave you the pleasure of doing a second later. 

“You say that as if I don’t care about you, Shuri. I care about you enough that I want you to view your safety as just as important as mine.” If not more important, you silently added. “That’s all I’m asking.”

Her eyes roamed about your features as her fingers fidgeted with yours. She let out a sigh, letting go of your hands only to raise hers and gently set them on your cheeks.

You were practically shaking, the feeling of her hands on your skin sending waves of what you would liken to electricity down your limbs, alighting every nerve of yours on fire. 

The sensation only intensified, almost stealing your breath, as she leaned down, close enough for the tip of her nose to skim yours. You prayed you weren’t breathing as loud as you thought you were, though you had a suspicion that she wouldn’t focus on that. Not when her eyes were flickering meaningfully from yours to your lips and back. 

The last time you two had been in this position, something had almost happened. You two had been this close, and this vulnerable with each other, but something had interrupted you-or rather someone.

Now, in the safety of the room you had been offered, in the palace that was placed right in the middle of Wakanda, you two had another chance. Another chance to cross the line you two had been constantly toeing without preamble.

“I…will try. I’ll try to do as you ask.” 

You nodded, the motion making your bottom lips whisper against hers in just the slightest. She tilted your head up in just the slightest, and you silently willed her to close the gap between you two. There was a tremble in your hands as you placed them on her waist, nerves and anticipation battling for dominance in your body.

Just like last time, she was right here in front of you- close enough to feel her breaths on your lips. Just like last time, she was holding you with the firmness of a person wanting to meld into one and with the softness of something that was precious. 

And just like last time, right as her lips landed on yours, a god-forsaken distraction had to pop up.

The sound of Shuri’s kimoyo beads beeping was startling enough to make you blink quickly and jerk your head back from where they were making sound right beside your ear. You couldn’t go too far because her hands immediately landed on your waist, keeping you close enough for her to lower her face until she could rest her forehead against yours. 

A mixture of a groan and a growl left her mouth as she closed her eyes, her hands gently fisting the material at your waist in irritation.

“Ngalo lonke ixesha.” 

She lifted her head as another beep came from her beads, and after groaning a word that sounded very much like a curse, she stepped back, raising her hands to answer whatever call was coming through.

“The elders wish to speak with you, Ukumkanikazi.”

You could admit that Okoye scared you, but god, were you annoyed with her as soon as her voice sounded out. This was the second time she had interrupted such a moment between you and Shuri, and you suddenly felt the strong urge to grab Shuri’s beads, hang up, and then grab her by her collar. 

But the last thing you needed was to be on the general’s bad side for not only hanging up on her, but keeping Shuri away from royal duties; duties that she had long before you were in the picture, and duties she’d had long after you were gone. 

“Okay, tell them I will be there as soon as possible.” 

To anyone, the tone of annoyance in her voice would’ve been inaudible; but to you, and most likely Okoye, it was very much there. 

“I will.”

Shuri let her hand drop heavily to her side before looking at you. She looked apologetic, and you couldn’t help letting a soft laugh escape your lips, no matter how shaky or breathless it seemed.

“One day, sithwanda. One day.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed at the second term of endearment that you had now heard in a 10 minute time span.

“What does that mean? Sithwanda? And...ixhoba?” 

Instead of answering, Shuri’s lips curved into a crooked smile before she leaned forward to place them on your forehead. When she pulled back the smile was still there, and it let you predict exactly what she was going to say next.

“I’ll tell you. Eventually. Goodnight, Y/N.” 

She gazed at you for just a second longer, letting out a disappointed sigh, and then she was turning on her heel and heading towards the door.

“You know I can just ask Aneka. Or Okoye.” 

The laugh that left her mouth was carefree. It sent a jolt through your body and a feeling that manifested on your face in the form of a giddy, wide smile. 

“You and I both know that neither of them will tell you. You’ll just have to be patient.”

She grabbed the door handle and opened it before turning to glance one more at you. You’d never grow tired of the smile she reserved for you, and it'd always draw a visceral reaction from you. 

“Sleep well, Y/N.”

You gave a small wave, reciprocating the farewell in a hushed tone. The door closed behind her with a soft click, leaving you standing in a beautiful room meant for royalty and with a heart that belonged to them- her- as well. 

Next Part

Mamela - “listen”

Ukumkanikazi - “queen”

Akukho nto ingako sinokuyenza ngoku - “there’s not much we can do now”

Mhlawumbi ngoku lixesha lokuba ubonise umhlobo wakho - “maybe now is the time to show your friend around.”

Unyanisile, ngumbono olungileyo lowo. - “you’re right, that’s probably a good idea.”

Ngalo lonke ixesha - “every time"

A/N: once again, I hope you all enjoyed this part! I also hope y'all have a happy holidays and stay safe and stay warm! <3

Taglist: @shinsousliya , @honey-teaaaaaaaa , @tchhairbandhere , @jessiap , @zane2408 , @bananasplits-world , @yellowjacketmurder , @barkbarkbo , @butterflyybabe , @bananafishok , @zestgodtj , @mitsuya-takashi , @chaoticevilbakugo , @cedeni-beanie , @shuri-my-love , @kingstormpostsshit , @sailorsolar12 , @justariellove , @angelsmist , @eriksjournal , @mermaidchansons , @nil-eena , @paisholotus , @thesecretwriterblog , @brain-of-nekoma , @7tearsofatlantis , @simp4iwaizumi , @bumlyn , @jackdrawsjunk , @http-twyla , @cedeni-beanie

[pjotvshownews]

April 16th blog update from Rick Riordan:

“[...] I also don’t have to be on Twitter to anticipate what questions you are probably asking.

Like for instance: When are we announcing Annabeth and Grover, and can it be right now? Answer: Soon. And no, it cannot be right now. As I said before, I think we’re very close to having everything wrapped up for our main trio, but there are numerous levels of approvals to get and deals to close before we can announce anything. Things are starting to move into high gear, though, since we begin filming in June, so we are probably talking weeks, not months, before we can share more news. As always, I need to warn you that this is ONLY my personal guess. What I can say is that the production team is united and excited about where the casting decisions are heading, and we are receiving excellent support from our studio and network partners.

Other questions I bet you are asking: Are we going to make Walker dye his hair black? Answer: We have had zero conversations about this. Personally, I think this is a non-issue. For me, finding the right actors  has never been about hair color, eye color, skin color, or any other single physical trait, even if they were described a certain way in the books. As many of you know, I flubbed such details myself several times in the series. Thalia’s eyes changed from green to blue. Oops! Annabeth’s hair was curly and then it was straight. Nico was described as olive-skinned, then later as pale. Blackjack even changed from a mare to a stallion over the course of two books. Whelp, not sure what happened there, but too late now! If I may invoke the Movies That Shall Not Be Watched, I know a lot of you cared deeply and were unhappy when Annabeth turned out to be a brunette rather than blonde, but for me, that was never the main issue. What mattered were that those actors, as talented and wonderful as they are, were WAY too old for the parts as I wrote them, and their age was central to the plot. What I want to see are age-appropriate actors who can embody the personalities of the characters, nail their voices and their sense of humor, and make you believe: “Yes, that is Percy. That is Grover. That is Annabeth,” even if they’re not exactly how the characters were described physically in the books. Again, that’s just my personal opinion and my approach. So blond Percy? Hey, why not? IMO Walker is awesome just as he is. He is perfect for the role. The same will be true for our other characters when I can announce them.

You are asking: What about the other casting choices? Those are well underway. We are reviewing a flood of audition tapes as we speak for all parts. And yes, I am involved in every decision. I have seen dozens of Sally Jacksons at this point, and even more Mrs. Dodds . . . all wonderfully sinister. In fact, I may or may not have had nightmares about math teacher Furies last night….

Will there be open casting calls for (fill in the character you wish you could be)? As I’ve said before, I very much doubt it. There are so many great actors out there who are looking for work and who have already made the commitment to devote their lives to acting, have put in years of training, have struggled to get agents and get parts — we have no shortage of great, diverse options. Acting is hard. Getting good at it takes time, patience and tons of unglamorous difficult work. Also, it’s simply not practical or economically feasible to do open calls for every character, especially extras. There are also many laws in place  . . . for instance, to work as an extra in Vancouver, where we are filming, it’s my understanding that you have to be a Canadian citizen or permanent resident, in order to support the local economy. So can we fly you halfway across the world so you can appear on set as “Tree #3” for a day? Alas, no, although I agree it sounds like fun!

In addition to all the excitement about Walker last week, we were working hard in the writers room to outline the remainder of the first season scripts. I’m very pleased with how that’s going. This will be The Lightning Thief — the story you know and love, but with added depth and layers of nuance that many of you have been yearning to know about, judging from the fan letters I have received over the past fifteen years.

Have a great weekend, and Happy Easter to those celebrating. I will get back to you with more news as soon as I can!”

x

[firesnap]

I have tentative hope in my heart that we're going to get lore in the next week. I still have faith that Wilbur's doing his best to get it organized and move forward with it now that he's not traveling.

But that little bit of hope makes me think back on the last stream again. I find it interesting that we were presented with three big Wilbur relationships -- Tommy, Techno and Philza -- and each of them have a pretty marked difference in how they act toward Wilbur than in the past.

Interestingly, Tommy's the one that's shifted the most. I was talking about this on discord earlier, but Ksusha was making a joke about how she missed Mean Girls era of Crime Boys and it made me pause. She's right -- that sort of acidic but complex vibe they had right after Wilbur revived has mellowed greatly. Mostly though, it looks like it can be contributed to Tommy changing how he handles Wilbur more than anything Wilbur's done. The joke we made was Tommy went from telling Wilbur to die and no one wants him around to acting like Wilbur will shatter with a gust of strong wind.

And it's interesting because, well, we slowly watched this shift happen. We saw that conversation with Foolish where Tommy decided to throw in all of his chips and not give up on Wilbur. We saw the reactions after when people would mention Wilbur around Tommy -- Sapnap and Quackity and Tubbo and Philza all hearing Tommy go from wishing Wilbur had never come back to calling him brother again. We saw the little moments in Ho16 and the tentative peace Tommy kept extending.

So what makes Bust interesting is that it's sort of a cumulation of this change and a marker for comparing Tommy of the past to his current development. We don't know if Tommy knows the details of what happened between Quackity, Wilbur and Ranboo. He left the room when Wilbur wanted to talk about it with Phil. However, Tommy can tell Wilbur is spiraling. Tommy knows what that looks like better than anyone else.

And there's a difference to Tommy's approach this time. There's still the unwavering loyalty -- Tommy helps Wilbur, it's all he ever does really. But it's more quiet than those attempts to reach Wilbur in Pogtopia. This is a Tommy weathered by his own grief and trauma, but also an emotionally intelligent kid who learns from the past. Pushing Wilbur into a corner with how Wilbur was fucking up and Wilbur wasn't acting like himself just made Wilbur double down in Pogtopia. He agreed with Tommy and shut down. Tommy didn't have the right tools to deal with that anger and grief and sadness before, and he still doesn't, but he's willing to change direction and try something else.

Now it's making Wilbur laugh and being a little more observant than the past. Now it's accepting when Wilbur needs pushed and, for the first time, seeing when pushing Wilbur would likely result in Wilbur lashing out.

Like, there's something to pull at here at this being Tommy's redo of Pogtopia. Tommy, who constantly chooses to stay by Wilbur, is on a shallow level repeating what he always does -- staying at Wilbur's side, but it isn't the same. He questions Wilbur and the questions seem a little more pointed. He's showing a patience that he didn't possess back in the ravine.

He's not going to give up, but I think we are seeing a Tommy who is already trying a different approach. It's more subtle, it's a little quieter than before but, then again, that's sort of how Tommy is these days too.

This ended up so much longer than I intended. Sorry if you made it this far and hopefully the little long post thing on Tumblr works.